A Book Worth Reading

The Shack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I tend to go on reading binges every few months or so and when I do I gravitate towards books that I've either had in mind for a long while or whatever is on the New York Times Bestseller list. Once I've had my reading fill, I go back to perusing magazines and what-not. It's odd, I know, but my schedule doesn't always dictate time for reading a novel regularly. 

That said, I've managed to ready three books over the past week and one of them was a short, but extremely heavy, novel called The Shack.

The story within the book is a fairly simple one to relay, a man loses his young daughter to tragedy and now faces struggles within himself as to the relevance of a God who doesn't step-in to keep such things from happening. Several years later, he receives a mysterious note asking that he return to the place that has caused his heart and soul so much pain, the aforementioned shack—the place where his young daughter was presumably murdered—and upon his return he finds that there is more to God than meets the eye.

I won't give away the story but I will say that if you are a person of strong faith, this book will certainly make you question some of the ideals you've always believed to be true about The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost.

It's certainly a book worth reading so I recommend it highly.

Check it out.

Discipline Takes Practice

Paulin Nordin

Oh how I do struggle with this issue. Some days I am completely good about staying far, far away from the foods that I grew up loving. While others I find myself giving in to the temptation and pull of a food simply because "it tastes sooooooooooo good".

Of course I immediately feel guilty about it and punish myself with a killer workout the next day—reinforcing the notion that I should have left it alone in the first place—but the penance I pay only lasts until the next slip-up undoubtedly happens and then...BOOM!

Well, today was one of those days. I didn't eat well because I simply wanted to go "off the wagon" and eat something delicious and hearty for a change. Lifting, circuit-training, biking, etc. is all good for this body of mine but it also means I spend a great deal of my day looking for my next meal. And, did I mention I absolutely love food?

Inasmuch as I've gotten away from meat—tofu and soy are infinitely more desireable options to me at this point—and eschew most things dairy (although I don't know that I'll ever leave cheese), I do have my weaknesses. And when life gets ridiculously busy, I turn to those vices by the boatload.

When this happens, I start looking for ways to get myself back on track: a fellow woman-in-training, a photo, a quote, a song...or a simple blog post written by someone whose life is all about what I'm trying to become—the very definition of fit.

I found that inspiration today via Muscle and Fitness Hers; it was in a blog post written by Pauline Nordin—a fitness fanatic who has conditioned and trained herself into a fighting machine. Here's what she had to say about those days when the cravings seems to overwhelm your good intentions:

...when you cheat on your diet, you condition your brain into believing that it’s okay to give in. So when the urge to eat crappy food is strong enough, that’s it -- you will give in. To break this habit, you have to be consistent in saying no to the craving. When you are consistent, you give that response strength and you know that there is no damn way that cookie craving is going to derail you from your plan.

I read that and a light bulb went off for me because so often I just feel like—man...what did I just do here? LOL.

But reading that post reminded me that discipline takes practice and the destination I'm trying to end at won't come without setbacks.

So, today I lost, but as Scarlett O'Hara would say, "...tomorrow is another day".

Yes, Happy Couples Fight Too...

I've been married for over 10-years to a wonderful man. He's everything I ever wanted and I have absolutely no doubt he was God's gift to me. That said, I can describe our marriage as such: Loving. Passionate. Blessed. We still hold hands, talk on the phone for hours, miss each other relentlessly when we're not together, and love as if we only met yesterday. He is my definition of what perfection in a man looks like and I could never imagine my heart in the hands of another.

Even so, I have yet to find one marriage that is perfect. Two people living and sharing the same space, on a daily basis, forever is not something that is always easy to do. And, given that fact, we become prone to disagreements about different things (money, time spent together, paint color, etc.).

However, it isn't the disagreements that matter but rather how you manage those disagreements.

For years I watched my parents struggle to find the ability to communicate effectively. However, they couldn't find the solution to their problems without hurting one another and that made for a difficult marriage and, eventually, a painful divorce. Yet it also made me keenly aware of how quickly things can fall apart if you're not constantly working together towards the same goal.

You have to know yourself, your mate, and your boundaries if everything is going to work as you'd like. And you cannot allow the elements that exist outside of your home to influence the approach you take inside of it.

When single girlfriends ask me how we continue to make our marriage work, I tell them it's because, if nothing else, we know that at the end of the day, we belong to each other and there is no place else we'd rather be.

We start from there and let God help us with the rest.

Source: google.com via Kimberley on Pinterest

Beware of the "Shiny Buttons"

Do you know what the biggest obstacle to personal growth is? It's the inability of the individual to perceive that the only road blocks in their way were placed there by them.

Sure, there are unforeseen circumstances in nature that can keep you from moving ahead and doing the things you most need/want to do but, for the most part, our obstacles are embodied in the preconceived notions, misinterpretations, and ill-intentioned actions of those we surround ourselves with who may or may not have our best interests at heart.

You have to start taking stock of the people you're letting in and decide how much of their presence is necessary for a positive effect to be had on your life. If you find that you have to constantly supplement their actions in order to make the relationship work for you, then you're working too hard to sustain something that, in truth, is hurting you more than helping you.

My late grandmother used to tell me to be careful of the "shiny buttons".

Let me explain.

Back in the day when I was a very young girl, my mother used to love dressing me in these beautiful full-length dress coats with these ridiculously shiny, gold-plated buttons. The buttons made the color of the coat pop and looked deliciously cute on Sunday mornings.

However, my grandmother would say, 'you know, you can get buttons that are just as shiny by polishing the ones on her older coats. Why waste time buying new coats that will eventually suffer the same fate as the ones you now choose to eschew in the name of style?'

She would later apply that theory to everyday life where relationships with people and a relationship with God were concerned.  She'd say, 'Tara (my nickname), don't get caught up with the shiny buttons'. To her the "shiny buttons" were the temporary friends who would dot my life throughout high school, college, and my adult years. They were the people who could hold me back from both  reaching my greatest potential and fostering my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

However, that old coat, with the pretty brass buttons that simply needed a quick polish, was her symbol for Heavenly Father because no matter how much you choose to neglect that old coat, you'll hang onto it because you know it's still the warmest, most well-made coat in your closet. And you would miss it if you ever let it go.

It may seem like a weird analogy, but it's one that I find comfort and wisdom in whenever I'm struggling to reassess a personal relationship.

Each of us have to answer for our choices so, the way I figure it, we may as well make them good ones.

How Vain Are You?

I'm not a fan of overly arrogant people because, by and large, their attitudes stink. They don't appear to have any genuine humility and often act like they are most entitled people in the world. It's a particularly unattractive trait in a man—I'm sure that opinion has to do with my being a woman—and it's certainly a personality marker that can make or break any personal relationship I attempt to foster with an individual.

That said, I readily admit I'm a vain about being "fit" and though I don't go around shoving my fitness methods in people's faces, I am aware that I work hard to have the body I do and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm proud of its progress compared to where it was two years ago.

In my opinion, some level of vanity is necessary if I hope to get to the "goddesss" body that I am always referring to. You simply can't reach your best you without being a stickler for things like food and how much, and the kinds, you consume or getting serious about how you approach your workout sessions. 

You have to say to yourself 'I'm going to do this the right way or not at all' because, otherwise, you're not on a fitness mission, you're just exercising.

Complete attention to detail is necessary in order to reach your maximum potential.

So, you're likely wondering who am I to say this to anyone? After all, I don't have any fitness products attached to my name and, as far as you know, I might not even work out everyday.

Being an unseen blogger can give the wrong impression I'm sure.

Well, without letting loose a barrage of photos, I'll only say you'll have to trust me when I tell you I take being fit very seriously and I do exercise on a regular basis—five, sometimes six, times per week.

It's not a hobby for me, it's a lifestyle. And that lifestyle is built on one principle: maximizing my efforts to reach my greatest potential physically. I'm not satisfied with only being able to fit into a particular size jeans or looking great in a bikini. I want to be able to look in the mirror and say 'damn, girl' and know that I did that all by myself.

Is that a little vain?  Probably.

Still, though, what's wrong with a little vanity between the mirror and you?

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Make A Resolution to Live Healthy, Not Lose Weight

Diets aren't my thing. I mean, living healthy can seem a bit like dieting but, when you're talking about making a lifestyle change, it's not exactly the same as someone who has signed up for Jenny or Weight Watchers for as long as they can pay the fees and afford the foods. No, a lifestyle change is simply a decision to "eat this, not that" and that's as simple as I can put it for those who like simplicity.

That said, every day can be a challenge for even the healthy minded because there is always new information about food and some new definition of "healthy". It's a challenge that I have trouble facing up to, from time to time, I must admit. But, eating healthy and preserving this God-given body of mine is something I am so passionate about that I am willing to make the effort to do what I can to remain informed and not succumb to whatever information is force fed to me through less reliable sources with an agenda.

Even so, I am not perfect.

I enjoy a slice of cake every now and then, and it can be difficult to turn down a piece of chocolate when the craving hits me but, for the most part, the mantra for me remains to "eat this, not that" and keep up my regular exercise/stretching regimen and that is something that has always worked for me. 

Many people, I feel—and if this sounds arrogant or short-sighted, please trust that is not my intention—complicate the process too much by subscribing to one dietary plan for some random extent of time. The only plan that has ever worked, consistently, is to eat right and exercise. It's not now, nor has it ever been, rocket science.  That's the tried and true way to remain healthy and lose weight—if losing weight is your goal.

You have to commit to this not for 30, 60, or 90-days, but for a lifetime, anything less is futile.

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Where Have I Been?

It's been several weeks since the 'Living Fit Mommy' blog has received any of my attention and I must admit, up front, that I currently post content for more than one site. This blog was always meant to be the one with more personal insight into me as a married, mother of two, with a strong desire to have the body of goddess (no, I'm not kidding about that last point either. I literally do about 1000 sit-ups a day and exercise more than I likely should in an effort to reach my personal physical goal of being "too sexy").

But, egoism aside, and more seriously than that, I write this blog because I need a release from the daily dial of being completely overwhelmed by this world of mine. It's a state that I have found myself in more often than not over the last couple of months—due in large part to dealing with the death of a very close relative—and I could not juggle it all. I needed, as they say, "a minute". 

I'm not Superwoman, by any stretch, and my faith, patience, convictions, and personal views on life, love, and family took quite a hit after losing a loved one so dear and I struggled mightily to find my center again.

That's the edited truth of it.

Thankfully, my foundation wasn't built on sand, but on God, and that's a hard foundation to obliterate without decidedly making the decision to forsake all I know and walk away from His love completely.

And that, my friends, is something I will never choose to do.

That said, I've had to breathe and give myself a break from bearing my all here for a few weeks because, plain and simply, I couldn't handle the candid chatter without falling to pieces at my laptop.

But, I will be making a more concerted effort over the next few weeks to be more present here if for no other reason than I'm ready to try and come back to some semblance of normalcy in my creative life, too.

So bear with me and stick with me, I'm finding my way back. 

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The Undefined Woman

I don't know about you, but my daily list of things to do does not include trips to the spa, a personal trainer, or my local nail salon—not that there's anything wrong with any of that—I'm a simple woman.

I love wearing a comfortable pair of jeans/slacks, a nice top, and a great smile. That's how I make my mark on the world—physically—everyday.

I've never bothered with make-up much, don't care much for heels, and probably know more about football than fashion, but  that's the me I'm happy to be.

The me who has stopped being overly concerned with any suggestion that I'm not "feminine" enough simply because I don't fit into a certain idea of what a woman is "supposed" to be. 

Let me tell you this, despite what you've been told, being a woman has nothing to do with the clothes you wear, the bag you carry, or the face you put on in the morning. Those are merely the things that please the eyes of those around you and make you feel good about yourself when you step out your front door every day.

None of those things mean a hill of beans where peace of mind, heart and spirit are concerned.

You should be able to remove all of the material comforts that people associate with you, and still know who you are, what makes you tick, and what you stand for.

Any woman can buy a pretty piece of clothing and wear the devil out of it, but not many have the courage to say 'this is me, love me or hate me, but this is me' once stripped bare of all the glitz—can you?

When you wake up in the morning you are already beautiful, tussled hair and all. All the stuff that accompanies you out your front door—the bag, the make-up, the shoes—are just the cherries on top of an already perfectly iced cake.

Don't ever forget that.

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You Have To Get Uncomfortable To Grow

Why do so many people believe life is supposed to be easy? The only thing this life has promised us is an earthly body. The quality and quantity of the life granted by that body is not guaranteed and if you have chosen to live your life based on some misguided notion of entitlement, then you could be selling yourself short.

It's important to realize that the blessing of life isn't in the receiving of riches, but in the molding of a life based on the pieces that can't possibly hold a price tag: your family, your children, your spouse, your friendships, etc. Those are the people on whom your impact is most precious and most beneficial to the world around you.

You must begin to realize, at some point, that you are part of something bigger and greater in this world and in order to grow into a person of true worth, sometimes it's necessary for life to get a little uncomfortable. You have to be tested, pounded, broken down, and even sometimes pushed to the very limits of what you feel your spirit can tolerate—then pushed one step further—before you can begin to appreciate and decipher the lesson you're being taught.

Does that mean the trials and tribulations you endure will be fair? No, because we are all meant to be tested differently, for different reasons, and at different times.

My father died when I was 11 years old and my relationship with him at the time of his death was contentious at best, estranged at worst. I never had the opportunity to know and understand him as the woman I am now and I struggle with that on a daily basis. However, the experience of him dying made me a stronger, more grateful, person because it made me appreciate early on the value of a life lived with purpose and love.

Perhaps if my father had been more in-tuned with the one (love), he might have been better equipped to fix the other (purpose), and maybe he would be with us today—but then would I still be the woman I am now?

Don't get me wrong, there's not a day that goes by where I don't think of my father and wish he were here to offer me the value of his experience—he'll never know his grandchildren or my husband, he wasn't there to walk me down the aisle, give me advice, or keep away the bad guys I encountered in my youth—but I understand that the plan God had for me required that I go through that experience to get to where I am now. My faith in Him won't allow me to question His purpose for that plan.

The blessings I've had, the choices I've made, and the people I've let in as a result of going through the pain of such a loss played a key role in making me the person I am.

Growth is an inevitable part of life but that growth cannot come without being tested. Forget the part where you think life is supposed to be easy and remember only this: life is a moment to moment conglomeration of everything you both are and can become, and to be tested is a blessing because it means God still knows you can get stronger. He has a plan for you, even if you can't see it yet, and whatever you are going through is His way of saying "I see you. I'm with you. Trust Me".

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Finding Balance Without Losing Your Center

Here's a true fact about me: I am typically all the way to one side or the other where serious matters are concerned. I can find the so-called grey area, but I don't often subscribe to it because I feel that to be a woman of conviction, you actually need to have convictions.

That said, the inherent danger in never allowing yourself to see the other side, or at least empathize with the person from whom it's coming, is you might find it difficult to later feel the compassion your heart needs to make the necessary connections to causes outside of your own.

I struggle daily with my ability to see the other side of the coin because I have made it my personal goal to be strong in my beliefs and not allow the outside world to twist or manipulate those ideals in any way. However, by that same token, I also know that I should not allow my beliefs to be so pervasive that I fail to understand the beliefs of  others. I know the golden rule of life—or at least as it pertains to my life—'as easily as that can be one person's plight, it could be mine also'.

Keeping the latter in mind, I treat everyone with the same level of respect that I would want for myself. It's only fair. We don't have to agree to have an intelligent conversation, we just need to understand that we each come to the table with our own theory of what's best.

To live life in the middle can be a good thing, but don't go overboard. Have convictions of your own and remain open to the discussions of those who hold the opposite point of view. Your life has to be about something more than just nodding your head in agreement with every new idea you are given. Find your truth and let it guide your life.

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The Most Important Part of Your Exercise Routine Is Y-O-U

I'll admit that one of the hardest parts of getting into a fitness routine is actually starting one. Many of us look in the mirror and make a mental judgment of how much we have to do in order to get to our "ideal" size and we feel overwhelmed. It is in that moment we manage to kill any chance we have at succeeding because we have already decided the outcome won't be positive or quick enough in coming.

It's an easy train of thought to fall into when you've spent years neglecting your body.

However, trust me when I tell you that there's not a woman or man alive who wants to look in the mirror and not like what they see. We are all vain in that aspect, and none of us wish to feel as if the beautiful canvas God gave us is somehow marred.

That said the solution to the above problem is a simple one—although many of us fail to recognize it—stop self-sabotaging your goals.

Does that sound too easy? Too cliche'? Sorry, but it's the plain truth.

We all make far too many excuses for why we choose (and understand in most instances it is a choice) not to exercise: no time, no money, no energy, no space, etc. Give. Me. A. Break!

Two things are required to cultivate a successful exercise routine: you and your body's weight. All of the special gadgets you see others using (weights, mats, bikes, elliptical machines, gyms, etc.) are just aids. Those things might help give you focus when deciding how to personalize your personal routine, but none of them are necessary for you to reach your goals.

Your body weight gives you the best challenge to building strength because you have to be able to control it as well as execute the moves. I can lift a 25 pound dumbbell 10 times with no problem, but if you challenge me to do 20 push-ups, I might need a break. Why? Because you not only have to concentrate on lifting it, but doing so with proper form as well—and that's not easy.

If you're worried about a lack of cardio, how about running in place while watching your favorite television show or doing mountain climbers in 30-second intervals. Have some stairs in or just outside of your home, use them as your stairmaster.

Want to build better buns? Try lunges...with weights.

Creativity is a great asset to developing a challenging routine that can bring you great results.

Don't believe me, just take a look at this guy...no weights, no gym, and no supplements. He's a work of art and he formed the foundation for that body by using whatever he had in and around his home. Oh and, by the way, he's almost 50.

My point is simple, there is no excuse for not exercising. If you can move, you can lose. It is that simple. And while I don't expect any of us to be able to duplicate what Herschel Walker was able to do, his dedication to doing a body weight workout everyday should serve as an inspiration for those of you still struggling to get off the sofa.

Now, get out there and move something!

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Fighting The Demons Within You

This life isn't particularly kind to everyone. I recall being especially unhappy as a high school student with little-to-no social life, a less than stellar boyfriend, and a contentious relationship with my mother. The only thing I wanted to do was escape it all and reinvent myself as a woman of some importance—at least in my own mind—and be free of the pain and loneliness that seemed to frame my life at that time.

Back then, like many girls my age, I was envious of the popularity, good looks, and overall charmed existence of the "popular" girls. Why couldn't I be more like them? Where was my superstar boyfriend (AKA sports hero)? My invitation to all the hot parties? Why wasn't I living the "good life"?

Well, it didn't take me too long to figure out that I was asking and hoping for all the wrong things and,
as a result, it became necessary for me to start sorting out the woman I wanted to be—in this body I felt endlessly uncomfortable living in—with this soul that was sorely lacking in both direction and nourishment.

Now, a number of years later, I reflect upon that time as a moment in my life where I was too centered on the superficial aspects of living to appreciate all the good things I was blessed to have. I was too busy being shallow to understand what characteristics truly mattered in a person—their faith in Christ, their poise, their integrity, and their virtue.

It's a lesson I had to learn in order to "grow up" and become the woman I am today: one who has
so much more to give to those around her because she can see both sides of the battle. I understand what it feels like both to be accepted and to wonder what acceptance feels like.  And, though I'm still evolving on a daily basis, I feel more comfortable living and loving in the beautiful body the good Lord blessed me to have than I did 20 years ago.

Don't get me wrong, that 15-year old, lost, girl with low self-esteem is still a very real part of my story—she still makes an appearance here and there in those moments I find reason to doubt myself—she's just no longer the title character in the movie.

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You're So Vain

I often say of my daughter (who is still just a toddler) that she's never met a mirror she didn't like. I mean, literally, she is incapable of passing a mirror without admiring the beauty that she most definitely owns and I do her humility no favors by showering her with as many compliments and touts of how infinitely gorgeous she is on a daily basis. If there's one area in which I hope my baby girl never lacks confidence, it's that of self-image—so take that airbrush nation.

That said, I am also completely aware of the superficiality that can develop if you tie your self-worth into your physical appearance. There has to be more substance to your total make-up than just the glow of your skin, the build of your body, and the tags on your rags. You have to be every bit as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside, otherwise you are akin to a piece of artwork done without purpose—beautiful to look at, but essentially soulless.

Outer beauty fades, inner beauty doesn't. It 's that simple. Never forget to cultivate the spirit in as many ways as you do the body.

That means making time for others, being a voice where there isn't one, extending a hand when needed, and always remembering to do everything with purpose and from the heart. If you do those things, you will encompass a more enchanting beauty than you've ever witnessed before. That will be the beauty people appreciate every bit as much as that which you see in the mirror.

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'Perseverance' Is Not A Dirty Word

Most of us give up too easily. We hit a little wall, suffer through a bit too much resistance, and we throw our hands up and say—to heck with this—I'm done. Well, what if you decided not to do that? What if you took your lumps, let whatever it was hit you with it's best shot, and said, "is that the best you can do? Is that all you've got?...seriously, well, you're gonna have to do better than that!"

I'm no oracle, but I'm willing to place a large bet that you would find yourself in a much more favorable position than you might otherwise be had you instead decided to give up.

The human spirit is one that is begging to be tested. You are built to be much stronger than you're likely allowing yourself to become, yet you spend the better part of your existence watching, exasperated, from the sidelines as life and opportunities pass you by. Even more, you look at the person you perceive to be a 'go-getter' and are colored greener than green with envy and admiration for their having done all the things you've already told yourself you cannot do.

Why torture yourself? This life is meant to be lived with purpose. You cannot let your life live you, you have to live your life, and that cannot be done if you aren't willing to get bruised and battered a bit along the way.

Perseverance in tough times builds character for the long haul and that makes for a life filled with experiences—both good and bad—that helps bring you into the person you most hope to be by the time you reach your fullest potential.

So, stop building roadblocks with your own hands. Allow yourself the opportunity—dare I say, the privilege—to be knocked down, to fail, to be defeated because it is only then that you will know the sweetness of life's blessings.

Just keep living, learning, and persevering to the end.

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Staying Fit Means Keeping Excuses To A Minimum

As a mother of two, I worked hard to get back to my pre-baby body after my pregnant one took over and—though I haven't one regret about the experience of being pregnant—it was a challenge that was both frustrating and character building at the same time.

So when I hear women say that it's "impossible" to look good post pregnancy, I find myself perplexed—call it arrogance, call it ignorance, call it an inability to empathize, but I feel it's just an excuse to not do better.

There are many women out there who managed to get back to a healthy size minus a gym or a trainer and despite the responsibilities of being a mother.

I choose to take a little time for myself, everyday,  to exercise. I do yoga, meditate, or play with the kids, but I make a decision to put my body into motion. I work hard at it not only to appease the vain side that exists to some degree in every one of us—let's face it, we all like to look great in a pair of jeans—but also to teach my children to 1) never neglect the Temple God gave you, and 2) to always remember to make time for bettering yourself—even if it means putting something or someone on hold for a moment.

Now, before the mommies cite me for being a bad parent, let me make this very clear: my kids are my top priority. They don't lack for anything as far as love, attention, and nourishment are concerned—nor does the hubby for that matter. But, in order to be that woman who can do it all, or at least appear to, I have to attend to me first, and that means feeling good about the skin I'm in.

Every woman deserves to look in the mirror and feel like a pretty girl—no matter what her age. Being fit—like it or not—contributes to that perspective, and you won't get fit by sitting on the sofa making excuses.

Am I saying you have to be a size 4? No, absolutely not, but I am saying that there is always time for you, so, take it and use it wisely.

Take Control of Your Day

It's not always easy to stay cheerful and focused—as a matter of fact, it's hard work—however, as a wife, mother, and superwoman (yes, I am), I find that it's a much harder thing to allow the negative forces of life to rule me. I simply don't have time to add those demons into a day that already has the potential to be a challenge.

Let's face it, there are multiple reasons to get up in the morning and say, "this day will mirror the rest of em'—poorly planned and poorly executed—so why bother making the effort to be productive?" Well, if you're like most, you make the effort based on the possibility that the day could turn out to be special.

My advice is to focus on the latter point more. Stop making it tough for yourself to find the positive spaces within the harried levels of your daily life. Wake up and take five minutes to imagine the day as a success—visualize yourself getting something done and being a productive piece of this overwhelming puzzle—not a failure.

You have a responsibility, to yourself, to be more than just an instrument utilized improperly by someone else. Take control of your day and make something good happen.

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Are You "Set" In Your Ways?

People describe individuals who aren't open to change, or new ideas, as "set" in their way—don't bother engaging those types of people in a conversation meant to evoke an intelligent, productive, debate—you're  wasting your time.

As easy a write-off as that explanation might be, I don't buy it. Despite what you have been told,  no one is set in their way. Some people are simply more resistant to change than others because they fear the unknown and we are all, to some degree, guilty of that.

Over a period of time we become comfortable with the knowledge we have acquired and we don't look kindly upon people who challenge us on those notions. Our knowledge, derived from years of personal experience, forms the foundation of our paradigms and when those paradigms are challenged, the natural instinct for many of us is to fight back and reject the new. And, we extend those rejections not because we are unwilling to accept that they might be right, but rather because we cannot deal with the possibility that we might be wrong.

It's as much about ego as it is about principle. 

However, none of us can become better versions of ourselves if we choose to remain ignorant to the changes and the people that dwell among us. You must be willing to accept the possibility that what you know isn't absolute, and you must remain open to more than just what you've come to know if you ever expect to learn anything else of substance. 

Understand this: As a reasonable, intelligent, and sentient human being, you always have the capacity to evolve—both in mind and in body—that journey is endless. To disrespect that journey, by never giving yourself the chance to accept or understand the unfamiliar, is to lay waste to all the possibilities that life has to offer.

Do not allow yourself to be stifled by a stubborn resistance to change. Trust that you are worth more than that, and allow yourself to become better than even you could have ever imagined.

Sometimes You Need A Little "Me Time"...

Most of us feel selfish when we realize we need time for self—especially when you have kids—it's as if we all decided that becoming a responsible adult meant the end of all activities geared towards personal enjoyment. There was to be no more fun...ever.

Well, forgive me for saying so, but, that's a load of crap!

Being a mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, friend, daughter, or son in no way obligates you to remain tethered to playing whatever role you feel you're expected to play. You are entitled to take that fishing/hunting trip, go see that movie you've been wanting to see, or make that jaunt to the local mall to catch up on your window-shopping.

You are every bit as important as those you give your time to, and if you don't recharge, you will regress into the solemn, sad, and stressed out state that lends to depression, anger, and resentment.

You owe it to yourself to be mindful of your needs—even if that means being selfish—and whenever the guilt creeps in, just remind yourself that even God rested on day seven.

Day 24: Your Worth Is Infinite...

If you work hard, and live right, there is always a part of you that is looking to be rewarded for giving your maximum effort. And, while the payoff may not always arrive in the form you most desire, you should not be negatively viewed for expecting some amount of acknowledgment for what you've done.

The problem with most of us is we feel like we don't have the right to expect a "thank you" or a "nice job" in return for being generous with our time, but we couldn't be more wrong.

When you give of yourself, particularly when you do so at the expense of the time you might otherwise spend with family, friends, or in self-enhancement, you are elevating that person or cause to first priority; thereby sending a message that they/their cause is important to you—there is both honor and sacrifice in doing such.

For that alone, you deserve to be recognized and, in accepting that recognition, you need to feel confident that you aren't being self-centered or selfish, but rather understanding that your actions are worthy of praise—even if it's minor in nature.

To be clear, I am in not saying you should walk around expecting pats on the back or statues erected in your honor.  Humility is still expected, and no charitable act should be taken solely for the purpose of receiving an accolade.

However, if you are giving all the time, without ever receiving anything in return—even if it's only a "thank you"—then there is something wrong and, at some point, you could grow to resent the person or cause that you are devoting your efforts towards because you feel your sacrifices aren't being appreciated or considered.

Own your compassion in such a way that you never allow your kindness to be the button others are allowed to press for personal gain because while your worth is infinite, your time is short, and you should never let anyone use your time to such a degree that you feel worthless.

Day 15: Sometimes You Just Have to "Do You"...

You can't please everybody. Stop trying...it's useless.

The only person you can take full responsibility for is yourself and, if you spend the better part of your existence trying to gauge the approval of others, your life will be miserable.

Most people aren't looking to praise your efforts. It's human nature to be overly critical and objective—think about it—everywhere you turn, there is judgment.

The eyes of your church congregation are gauging how "christian" you are, your friends are questioning the decisions you make in regards to your dress, your career, your parenting, and your money, and society expects you to be a law-abiding citizen with the potential to offer a great deal to their world.

Just living is a challenge because nothing comes without criticism or expectation.

That said, the best you can do is be the best version of yourself—every. single. day.

Don't worry about what any one has to say, don't continually alter your actions so that they're consistent with what others feel they should be, and don't waste time trying to be someone that you're not—that's an injustice to you and the one beautiful life God has granted.

Do the things that make you feel good and make you the most effective person for those who are the most important parts of your life—period. As for every one else clawing at you and telling you who you should be, well, tell them your dance card is full, and advise them to take a number.

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