The Undefined Woman

I don't know about you, but my daily list of things to do does not include trips to the spa, a personal trainer, or my local nail salon—not that there's anything wrong with any of that—I'm a simple woman.

I love wearing a comfortable pair of jeans/slacks, a nice top, and a great smile. That's how I make my mark on the world—physically—everyday.

I've never bothered with make-up much, don't care much for heels, and probably know more about football than fashion, but  that's the me I'm happy to be.

The me who has stopped being overly concerned with any suggestion that I'm not "feminine" enough simply because I don't fit into a certain idea of what a woman is "supposed" to be. 

Let me tell you this, despite what you've been told, being a woman has nothing to do with the clothes you wear, the bag you carry, or the face you put on in the morning. Those are merely the things that please the eyes of those around you and make you feel good about yourself when you step out your front door every day.

None of those things mean a hill of beans where peace of mind, heart and spirit are concerned.

You should be able to remove all of the material comforts that people associate with you, and still know who you are, what makes you tick, and what you stand for.

Any woman can buy a pretty piece of clothing and wear the devil out of it, but not many have the courage to say 'this is me, love me or hate me, but this is me' once stripped bare of all the glitz—can you?

When you wake up in the morning you are already beautiful, tussled hair and all. All the stuff that accompanies you out your front door—the bag, the make-up, the shoes—are just the cherries on top of an already perfectly iced cake.

Don't ever forget that.

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Apathy, Change, and You

Each day is a challenge. I wake up every morning, trying my best to arm myself with whatever mental armor I need, so that I won't be blindsided by negativity. However, the one thing I never account for is the fact that everyone around me will be doing the same thing.

As a society, we've been trained to be skeptical of everything and everyone. We question our leaders, question our laws, and rail against the ways of the world that have led us to this mass chaos that, seemingly, has no end. Yet, none of us is truly willing to take responsibility for the role we might have played in this mechanism. We're, all of us, content to put up our walls or stick our heads in the sand.

Many of us assumed we could leave the important decisions to the more informed, more educated, and more involved segments of society. We stopped paying attention to the signs that signaled something wasn't quite right because we had problems of our own to tend to—let somebody else handle this mess. 

The problem with that attitude is that it's pervasive—it never stops at one person—and a society that mass produces an attitude of apathy isn't one headed in the right direction. You have to stand for something if you ever expect to live a life of purpose.

Read a newspaper, watch the news, seek out the knowledge you need to start making the small steps that can eventually get us all back on the right track.

Be the change you wish to see in the world...isn't that what Ghandi said?

Are you being that change or letting the world change you?

There's A Difference Between "Keeping It Real" and Being Real

Most of us don't know who we truly are and we often have trouble separating our true self from the   facade we show to the world.

Of course many of us don't acknowledge the fact that we wear a mask on a daily basis. We just like to assume that we are "keeping it real"—it's everyone else that's being phony.

Well, here's a perfect test for those of you who subscribe to the latter point: think of a topic that interests you. Ponder the ins and outs of that topic for as long you deem necessary to espouse an intelligent opinion. Once you've done so, ask yourself what part of that opinion is based on your own knowledge, and what part of it is based on the knowledge you've absorbed from the sources around you. 

If you find that most of what you believe is built on an article you read, a talk show you heard, or a speaker you've listened to, then you aren't as "real" as you might think.

The natural response to this is to say we are all going to be guilty of doing that. After all, most of us are just a conglomeration of our experiences and social interactions. It's impossible not to be influenced or shaped by external factors in our environment. 

That's true, and in no way do I expect that this world will house a human being who hasn't been touched or influenced by something he/she read, did, or experienced. That's the way we become who we are—through experiencing this life as an observer.

However, you have to begin investigating and researching matters on your own, as well. You have to start realizing that regurgitating the philosophies of another doesn't make you sound intelligent, it makes you look misinformed.

In as much as you are an observer, you should also be an experimenter. Your belief system should be a result of what YOU know for sure and not what you've heard from the majority. Walk your own path, formulate your own opinions, and become your own person.

There are enough people out there "keeping it real", strive to be a part of the group that's just being real.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sometimes You Need A Little "Me Time"...

Most of us feel selfish when we realize we need time for self—especially when you have kids—it's as if we all decided that becoming a responsible adult meant the end of all activities geared towards personal enjoyment. There was to be no more fun...ever.

Well, forgive me for saying so, but, that's a load of crap!

Being a mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, friend, daughter, or son in no way obligates you to remain tethered to playing whatever role you feel you're expected to play. You are entitled to take that fishing/hunting trip, go see that movie you've been wanting to see, or make that jaunt to the local mall to catch up on your window-shopping.

You are every bit as important as those you give your time to, and if you don't recharge, you will regress into the solemn, sad, and stressed out state that lends to depression, anger, and resentment.

You owe it to yourself to be mindful of your needs—even if that means being selfish—and whenever the guilt creeps in, just remind yourself that even God rested on day seven.

Day 19: Are You Listening?...

It's easy to talk. I, personally, am a great talker when amongst friends and family. However, the art of listening is one that many of us have forgotten how to use.

This world has become soaked in voices—most of which are trying hard to be the loudest, most recognized, and influential voices in the world. No one wants to actually hear anything anymore, they just want to talk about how bad something is and incite us towards action because, "it's the right thing to do".

Well, here's the problem with that theory, it only works for the person who is listening the most intently with both ears, an open heart, and a clear intention to be more than just a face in the crowd because, quite honestly, most of us are a lot less interested in what the voice has to say than we are with the person saying it.


In other words, we choose sides based on arbitrary factors: political affiliation, religious leanings, race, ethnicity, gender, etc. We no longer truly can hear what the message is because we are too caught up in the messenger.

The result is a society that has forgotten the value of independent thinking in exchange for being a part of the most popular group of "listeners" this world has to offer.

It's time that we all start listening better, and challenging the voices within ourselves to make themselves heard. Not because we want to become the center of attention but, more importantly, because there is room for more than one voice to be heard—start making one of them be your own.