Are You "Set" In Your Ways?

People describe individuals who aren't open to change, or new ideas, as "set" in their way—don't bother engaging those types of people in a conversation meant to evoke an intelligent, productive, debate—you're  wasting your time.

As easy a write-off as that explanation might be, I don't buy it. Despite what you have been told,  no one is set in their way. Some people are simply more resistant to change than others because they fear the unknown and we are all, to some degree, guilty of that.

Over a period of time we become comfortable with the knowledge we have acquired and we don't look kindly upon people who challenge us on those notions. Our knowledge, derived from years of personal experience, forms the foundation of our paradigms and when those paradigms are challenged, the natural instinct for many of us is to fight back and reject the new. And, we extend those rejections not because we are unwilling to accept that they might be right, but rather because we cannot deal with the possibility that we might be wrong.

It's as much about ego as it is about principle. 

However, none of us can become better versions of ourselves if we choose to remain ignorant to the changes and the people that dwell among us. You must be willing to accept the possibility that what you know isn't absolute, and you must remain open to more than just what you've come to know if you ever expect to learn anything else of substance. 

Understand this: As a reasonable, intelligent, and sentient human being, you always have the capacity to evolve—both in mind and in body—that journey is endless. To disrespect that journey, by never giving yourself the chance to accept or understand the unfamiliar, is to lay waste to all the possibilities that life has to offer.

Do not allow yourself to be stifled by a stubborn resistance to change. Trust that you are worth more than that, and allow yourself to become better than even you could have ever imagined.

Day 26: Moving On...

Love can be painful. It's not intended to be such, but when you allow a person into your heart and mind long enough, they become intimately knowledgeable about all the things that make you tick—if they're paying even a modicum of attention. And, when it becomes clear that your relationship is over, they have the ability to push those buttons—if they choose—and make a tough situation more difficult to bear.

Keeping that in mind, it's up to you to decide the type of person you wish to be when it comes time to release yourself from a relationship.

Do you want to be the mature, respectable, adult who takes the high-road and refuses to stoop to their level? Or do you want to embroil yourself in an emotional war where, quite frankly, everyone loses?

The decision can be tougher to make than some think because, while it's easy to have someone tell you to be the bigger person, no one can possibly understand what you're going through. None can say for sure that they would do things differently because they aren't standing in your shoes—these are your decisions, based on your experiences, and no one should feel fit to judge you for how you handle your pain.

However, in attempting to move forward, you have to become aware of when your desire to hurt said person overcomes your desire to heal—if you can't heal, you can't move on.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is allow the healing process to happen—however it happens. If that means you give yourself a 6-month pity party—go ahead. Love is not something that goes away simply because the person does. You are mourning the death of a relationship that, at some point, meant everything to you.

You deserve time to come to grips with that fact. Even still, don't place yourself in wreckless situations that could possibly lead to regrets later.

Own your pain, find a way to mend your heart, and trust in the possibilities that lie ahead—your life is not over—and, eventually, you will be fine.

Day 23: You Can Do Bad All By Yourself...

There are a high-percentage of miserable people in this world who have one goal: to make your life miserable too.

They don't appreciate seeing you happy, accomplished, blessed, or ambitious. No, it's far easier and more satisfying to them if you fall flat on your face—a complete and utter failure.

Those kinds of people are better left in a boat, sailing alone, in an endless river—towards oblivion. Well, maybe not oblivion, but they definitely should not be allowed to be a functional part of your daily life because they, ultimately, serve no purpose.

While it's easy to understand the nature of a person who is willing to try and build a relationship with such a character—even Judas had friends—it's not smart for your soul. You cannot rely on that subtle instinct within you that says you can be the difference. You can make this person into a better man/woman simply by not giving up on them—showing them they too are worthy of greatness and love.

That's silly. Your job isn't to save them, it's to enhance your life in the best way you can and, chances are, that journey won't go very far if you continue pulling the 500 pound anchor that is negativity and resentment around with you. Let that person evolve by his or herself and not at the expense of your growth.

Now, if said individual resides in close proximity to you, let's say it's your friend, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, life-partner, or what have you, start asking yourself what Y-O-U are getting from an association that's so emotionally stalling—why do you feel you need to have this person in your life?
What purpose do they serve?

If their only function is in making you feel like, by comparison, you are much better person than they—shame on you. However, if they serve no purpose other than to drain you emotionally, physically, and psychologically, then why have them in your life?

Misery can be attained without help...don't waste your life giving it company.

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