I Hate to Get Off Track

This week has been hell! Too many nights that turned into early mornings and too many days overflowing with things to do.

That said, the more pressing matter is what those extended days—and the lack of sleep that accompanied them—has meant for my "living fit" lifestyle. Being exhausted, at least for me, is often a gateway to not eating as healthy or as focused as I should or would be if I were being aware of my body and listening to it's cues. As I mentioned in the previous post, my kids being home for summer vacation has meant some schedule restructuring on my part because where I once had school hours to do things like cook, clean, exercise, and shop, I now have to do it all with them in tow.

Granted, I have zero issues with being with my kids 24/7, but you'd be surprised how much more efficient your tasks have to be when you're on full mommy alert—i.e. making sure they aren't in harms way, aren't wandering off, aren't touching anything needlessly, aren't in need of a potty break or suddenly hungry— and, for me, who is an admitted Type A personality, I don't do well with mass chaos. I can take it as it comes...so long as I know about it in advance.

But I digress.

I recognized that the week was going in the wrong direction as early as Sunday, but continued down the path of least resistance and managed to blow off at least one workout while half-assing a second; pair that with a few days of bad eating and, voila, living fit mommy isn't living so fit.

My goal is to not let the week end the way it started but rather to get myself back on track. I've certainly been down this road enough to know that sometimes it's the falling that makes the getting up that much more rewarding.

My Mothers Day Testimony

I was watching a television the other day and I saw this beautiful commercial by Procter and Gamble:




I cry like a baby every time I watch it because I think of my own children and how quickly they're growing into little people with dreams of their own. Even at four and seven, they seem so big to me now because I so vividly remember holding each of their tiny little hands in my own after they were born.

My little girl, age four, and the most beautiful ballerina I've ever seen, is coming into her own more and more each day. She's like a sponge, soaking up every experience and making me pause to appreciate even the simplest of things as she sees them through her own very unique perspective.

Her smile melts me even on the most difficult of days because I know there is nothing but love and adoration behind it. And it is that adoration and love that makes me want to rope the moon for her if I can.

She is my princess and I cannot imagine a more perfect bond than the one I know we will have as she grows older.

My son, seven, is  smart, funny, and so full of life that it's nearly contagious. And as I shuttle him back and forth to soccer, karate, or scouts, I see the wonderful little boy he's becoming and I can't help but smile at how proud I am of how well he's making his way through this world.

He protects his sister, no matter what, and he is always willing to lend a helping hand to me or dad—no matter what the task—simply because he wants so much for us to be proud of him. He loves having a reason to make us smile and say "atta boy" because to him that means everything—and to us that means the world.

His compassion towards others is beautiful to see and I love how he's always leaving me little notes to say how great a mom he thinks I am or how much he loves his family.

He is our little man of the house and even at seven-years old, he's not ashamed to give his mom a kiss and hug in front of his friends in the carpool line :)

My children make every sacrifice worth it for me because their love is priceless and there aren't enough adjectives to express how blessed and favored I feel simply for being given the opportunity to be their mother. They are my divine gifts from above and on Mothers Day and every other I say "Thank You" to Him for loving me enough to send these two beautiful spirits into our lives.

So, from one mother to all the current and future mommies, I say Happy Mothers Day! We are all blessed beyond measure.

Where Have I Been?

It's been several weeks since the 'Living Fit Mommy' blog has received any of my attention and I must admit, up front, that I currently post content for more than one site. This blog was always meant to be the one with more personal insight into me as a married, mother of two, with a strong desire to have the body of goddess (no, I'm not kidding about that last point either. I literally do about 1000 sit-ups a day and exercise more than I likely should in an effort to reach my personal physical goal of being "too sexy").

But, egoism aside, and more seriously than that, I write this blog because I need a release from the daily dial of being completely overwhelmed by this world of mine. It's a state that I have found myself in more often than not over the last couple of months—due in large part to dealing with the death of a very close relative—and I could not juggle it all. I needed, as they say, "a minute". 

I'm not Superwoman, by any stretch, and my faith, patience, convictions, and personal views on life, love, and family took quite a hit after losing a loved one so dear and I struggled mightily to find my center again.

That's the edited truth of it.

Thankfully, my foundation wasn't built on sand, but on God, and that's a hard foundation to obliterate without decidedly making the decision to forsake all I know and walk away from His love completely.

And that, my friends, is something I will never choose to do.

That said, I've had to breathe and give myself a break from bearing my all here for a few weeks because, plain and simply, I couldn't handle the candid chatter without falling to pieces at my laptop.

But, I will be making a more concerted effort over the next few weeks to be more present here if for no other reason than I'm ready to try and come back to some semblance of normalcy in my creative life, too.

So bear with me and stick with me, I'm finding my way back. 

Related articles

• {Day 19} Side Effects of Superwoman Syndrome: Loneliness (jaymismorningfog.wordpress.com)

County Agency Removes Obese Boy, Watch Out For That Slippery Slope

A report published in the Cleveland Plains-Dealer this morning discusses the recent removal of an 8-year old boy from his family home due to his being grossly overweight (he weighs 200 lbs).

The obvious reaction to a county run agency stepping in on such an issue is, I believe, summed up beautifully in this one quote from said article.

"...one could get ethical whiplash in a world where one arm of government is so concerned about a child's weight that it removes him from his home, while another branch of government argues that french fries and tomato paste on pizza should be counted as servings of vegetables."

Where on earth does the responsibility begin and end on both fronts?

I'll say right off the bat that I heavily empathize with the mother here because, although she has made strides to curb the unhealthy eating habits of her young son, she has often battled with environmental factors that often undercut her efforts when she's not around to monitor him.

Furthermore, as a single-mother, living on a substitute teaching income, she does not have the money to enroll her son at the local YMCA or hire the services of a dietician to help her navigate the often confusing world of food.

As one who often takes great pains to read labels and obey serving sizes, I know precisely how challenging it can be to discern the good foods from the not-so-good ones, and I can say that's this is not a skill that can be developed overnight.

Keeping all of this in mind, how can any agency justify removing this child from his home based solely on his physical condition?

I worked in child protective services for a short time and I can tell you, without hesitation, that I've seen more children left in homes where physical and verbal abuse are present than I would have liked and those same children exhibited signs of abuse at the time of the investigation–yet they remained with the parents because removal was a last resort.

So, what's the message we're sending in this instance, you can abuse your child, but if you feed them too much, we're gonna take them away?

Sounds silly, if you ask me.

How about you try to help fix what's broken before you destroy families who don't have the resources to make immediate changes to a learned—and heretofore unchecked—lifestyle.

I'm not making excuses for this mother–I applaud this agency for being proactive and taking the steps necessary to address this matter– However, instead of removing a well-adjusted child into a foster homes (prior to the removal, this boy was on the honor roll) how about you offer alternatives to the parent?

The article states that the agency has looked into moving the child to a home where a personal trainer exists. How about gifting the mother a gym membership and arranging bi-monthly visits with a registered dietician who can assist them in reaching their goals?

Why stress county/state funds by doling out money to a foster parent—who can request reimbursements for travel to and from medical appointments and also receives a monthly payment for keeping said child in their home—enrolling yet another individual into the medicaid program (because you can bet that money for this boy's healthcare will need to come from somewhere),or setting up yet another situation where food stamps will be needed just because you're not thinking outside the box?

Obesity isn't a community problem, it's a social one,and a fix for it is needed at every level—starting with the federal government.

I'm all for offering help to those who are actively trying to make a change in the way their families think about food, but that change will take time—particularly if that particular family is struggling to make ends meet and the cheapest food available is often not the healthiest—but don't confuse intervention with education.

Think first, then act.

Related articles

• Foster Parenting (mygirlmylife.wordpress.com)
• A Story With No Good Answers (webnerhouse.com)
• Is pizza a vegetable? According to the US Congress... (100gf.wordpress.com)

Grace in Mourning

I recently suffered a loss that, no matter how hard I tried, I could have never prepared myself to accept. Even as I write this, I am struggling to figure out how to ease the heartache that this loss has left me feeling.

The toll this has taken on my family has been one of the brutal sort—it's not always easy to be kind when the persons involved are going through the same heartbache as you. Suddenly the person you all loved becomes the person only you loved the best. And, in your desire to do what you feel he/she would have wanted, you forget to be mindful of whose feelings you're stepping on in the process.

I've been through enough to know that everyone deals with their grief differently. Some withdraw into work or a daily routine, others resort to drugs/alcohol, and some simply learn to live with said pain and use it as the motivation to be better in that person's honor.

The point is we all arrive at our places of peace differently and however one comes to that place is their business. You can't rush anyone through the process or force them to adhere to your idea of what's most effective, they have to do it on their own terms and in their own time—if they are ever to do it at all.

One thing I've learned from my most recent experience is just how fragile the family unit can become if there is no foundation there from the start. Grief and sadness are capable of bringing out the best and worst in people, and the scars that words and actions, born from pain, can leave behind can be irreparable if one is not careful.

We must try to never forget to be cognizant of those going through the storm with us–even if the path they're taking is more or less rain-soaked than ours. Because, in the end, it's about love and respect. Respect for yourself, your departed loved one, and all those he or she has left behind to mourn them.

Related articles

• Coping with grief (bupa.com.au)
• Attachment, Grief, and Complicated Grief (psychologytoday.com)
• The Evolution of Grief, Both Biological and Cultural, in the 21st Century (blogs.scientificamerican.com)

Money, Money, Money

I'm terrible with money. I'm not saying I can't make decisions on where to put it, how to spend it, or who to give it to, but only that where money is concerned I am terrible about negating my priority as a mother in favor of helping out the pockets or lifestyle of a friend or family member.

My theory as far as money is concerned is fairly straightforward: live your life and I'll live mine.  While I am fully aware that this goes against the philosophy I espouse here on how life is about creating unity amongst each other and tossing out material notions, I am also quite content holding this ideal because I feel my family comes first—I won't jeopardize their comfort or needs simply to prove I am not selfish or superficial.

As children growing up in a single-parent household, my mother's main concern was that we have the privileges she never had growing up as the eldest of nine children. She didn't always have the opportunity to get the things she wanted, when she wanted them, but that feeling of 'want' embedded within her the desire to educate and place herself in a position to where when she had children of her own, they would have more than she ever could have imagined for herself—and we did.

My goal is to carry that standard forward for my children. I want them to see things I've never seen, do things I've never done, and experience life in a way that makes them know how big this world is and how much of a right they have to make their place in it be a special one. And, to be honest, it takes money to do many of those things.

So, when a person (family member, friend, or otherwise) asks me for money that is outside of my comfort level, I have no trouble saying no because I have to consider the repercussions of that decision, on my family and our life, beyond just that moment. That's the honest truth.

Does that mean I don't lend money to those in need? No, it doesn't, it just means I know there's a difference between being helpful and giving your money away. I choose to be helpful when and where I can, but I never do it without considering my priorities first and that should never be considered as a form of selfishness—in my opinion.

Breast Milk Baby Doll...What?!?

Please explain to me the value in a child having a doll that can "breastfeed". I'm sorry, but the purpose of that kind of doll is lost on me—completely.

The Berjuan Toy Company, located in Spain, has developed a toy called the  "Breast Milk Baby", the purpose of which is to help "...young girls express their love and affection in the most natural way possible, just like mommy!"

Are you kidding me? Is there no end to what a toy company will do to sell merchandise?

Call me old-fashioned, call me short-sighted, or call me a prude, but there is no way I could ever deem this to be an appropriate toy for my daughter.

Young girls these days, it seems, are being brought up in a world where motherhood is glorified. And while I have no problem with the message, I do have a problem with the timing of its delivery—could we please allow our daughters to be little girls before we start teaching them how to be mothers?

The ability to love and nurture another is a lesson that can be learned without props like this one, and it's past time that we, as consumers, start drawing the line on what should and should not be appropriate entertainment for our children.

I, for one, would not encourage the purchase of this item for any girl/woman who is not an expectant mother—I see some value in this item as a teaching tool for expectant/new mothers who want to learn some of the fundamentals of breast-feeding—as, again, I find little value in it.

That said, I am certain there are many who will buy this item without a second thought because it's "just a toy" and, while I can respect that perspective, I feel a need to reiterate the point of the impressionable minds of our young girls.

Don't allow them to grow up too fast. Let them enjoy being babies before they start learning how to care for one.

Just my two.

Related articles

• What Do You Think: Breast Feeding Doll (VIDEO) (trudatblog.com)
• "Little Girls Need to Learn to Breastfeed" According to Berjuan Toys (prweb.com)

Staying Fit Means Keeping Excuses To A Minimum

As a mother of two, I worked hard to get back to my pre-baby body after my pregnant one took over and—though I haven't one regret about the experience of being pregnant—it was a challenge that was both frustrating and character building at the same time.

So when I hear women say that it's "impossible" to look good post pregnancy, I find myself perplexed—call it arrogance, call it ignorance, call it an inability to empathize, but I feel it's just an excuse to not do better.

There are many women out there who managed to get back to a healthy size minus a gym or a trainer and despite the responsibilities of being a mother.

I choose to take a little time for myself, everyday,  to exercise. I do yoga, meditate, or play with the kids, but I make a decision to put my body into motion. I work hard at it not only to appease the vain side that exists to some degree in every one of us—let's face it, we all like to look great in a pair of jeans—but also to teach my children to 1) never neglect the Temple God gave you, and 2) to always remember to make time for bettering yourself—even if it means putting something or someone on hold for a moment.

Now, before the mommies cite me for being a bad parent, let me make this very clear: my kids are my top priority. They don't lack for anything as far as love, attention, and nourishment are concerned—nor does the hubby for that matter. But, in order to be that woman who can do it all, or at least appear to, I have to attend to me first, and that means feeling good about the skin I'm in.

Every woman deserves to look in the mirror and feel like a pretty girl—no matter what her age. Being fit—like it or not—contributes to that perspective, and you won't get fit by sitting on the sofa making excuses.

Am I saying you have to be a size 4? No, absolutely not, but I am saying that there is always time for you, so, take it and use it wisely.

Christmas Gift Conundrum: Five Thrifty Gift Ideas For The Harried Mom In Your Life

Let me warn you right off the bat, this isn't your average Christmas list. While I do emphasize these as great gifts for the harried mom in your life, some may disagree with the choices below.

That said, as a mom myself, I am more given to practicality than extravagance—even at Christmas—and I can appreciate receiving a gift that makes my life easier.

So, let's just jump right in:

1. A book of stamps.

Seriously! While I have joined the electronic age and pay many of my bills online, I cannot tell you how often I run across a bill that requires a mail-in (curse you country power company) and it is safe to assume that I am not the only one.

Even more, the mere thought of purchasing a stamp seems time consuming. The driving, the waiting in line...who has time?

Think about it.

2. Dish towels.

We're all cooks—good or bad—and we spend a great deal of time in the kitchen. A lovely set of dish towels from HomeGoods or your favorite retailer is practical and useful.

My mom gave me two sets last year and they came in handy during this holiday season when I've spent so much time playing chef.

3. A DVR or TiVO.

Okay, they can be a bit pricey, but sometimes you have to splurge.

A DVR or TiVO device will allow your superwoman to record all of her favorite shows and watch them at a later date.

4. A handmade coupon book.

The one thing a busy mom never has enough of is time. Every hour of the day is usually accounted for and little of that involves anything for her. As moms, we aren't likely to fuss about that fact much—it's in our nature to be Superwoman—however, there is always the desire for a little "me-time".

So, why not make a coupon book that offers small opportunities for just that—time. The book could be for as many different occasions as you like (although 12 is a nice start) and could include items like:

• A Mom's Day Out—minus the kids.
• A night off from preparing dinner or cleaning up afterwards.
• An hour for taking a relaxing bath.
• A Free massage

Be creative!

5. A journal.

The one thing most don't do enough is take note of our own thoughts.

Journaling doesn't have to involve a daily entry or even a long one. It's simply an opportunity for getting some of the stress of the day off your chest and decompressing.

It's also a great way to maintain mental health.

Related articles

• TiVo Permiere Deal Is The Gift That Keeps Giving (joetech.com)
• Last Minute Gift Idea: One Line a Day Memory Books (chicagonow.com)

Day 21: Testing Your Patience...

Sometimes the person you love the most can get under your skin. It's a privilege they have, born of the simple fact that they either a) have known you for a long time or b) are connected to you by blood.

In either case, they know where to hit you where it hurts when they get good and ready and, despite your best attempts, their daggers are difficult to ignore.

Understanding this point, you begin to realize that there will be situations where you cannot handle things diplomatically and you'll have to find your own way to fight back against the emotional and psychological conflict.

But how do you accomplish such a feat? What can you do that can be equally as effective, and nerve-wrecking as what they are doing to you?...Say nothing.

Be silent. Be Patient. Be still.

Now, I know what you're thinking. It immediately occurs to you that some things need to be addressed, and you are right—they do. However, choose to address them calmly. Don't yell, don't scream, don't trade barbs. Just correct what is wrong, and return to your silent meditation. By doing so, the person loses their target and the conflict loses it's luster.

No one wants to fight alone.

Become a temporary island where irrationality, bitterness, and contempt are not allowed to drop anchor—redirect those things, along with their carriers, to another location. Tell them to return only when they can be more intelligent with what they have to say and, in the meantime, say nothing.

Be silent. Be patient. Be still.