Where Have I Been?

It's been several weeks since the 'Living Fit Mommy' blog has received any of my attention and I must admit, up front, that I currently post content for more than one site. This blog was always meant to be the one with more personal insight into me as a married, mother of two, with a strong desire to have the body of goddess (no, I'm not kidding about that last point either. I literally do about 1000 sit-ups a day and exercise more than I likely should in an effort to reach my personal physical goal of being "too sexy").

But, egoism aside, and more seriously than that, I write this blog because I need a release from the daily dial of being completely overwhelmed by this world of mine. It's a state that I have found myself in more often than not over the last couple of months—due in large part to dealing with the death of a very close relative—and I could not juggle it all. I needed, as they say, "a minute". 

I'm not Superwoman, by any stretch, and my faith, patience, convictions, and personal views on life, love, and family took quite a hit after losing a loved one so dear and I struggled mightily to find my center again.

That's the edited truth of it.

Thankfully, my foundation wasn't built on sand, but on God, and that's a hard foundation to obliterate without decidedly making the decision to forsake all I know and walk away from His love completely.

And that, my friends, is something I will never choose to do.

That said, I've had to breathe and give myself a break from bearing my all here for a few weeks because, plain and simply, I couldn't handle the candid chatter without falling to pieces at my laptop.

But, I will be making a more concerted effort over the next few weeks to be more present here if for no other reason than I'm ready to try and come back to some semblance of normalcy in my creative life, too.

So bear with me and stick with me, I'm finding my way back. 

Related articles

• {Day 19} Side Effects of Superwoman Syndrome: Loneliness (jaymismorningfog.wordpress.com)

Time: Take More of It for Yourself

Count to ten. No, not that fast. Here, let me help you, close your eyes, take a deep breath and, as you exhale—slowly—count 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10.

In completing that exercise, you took time to stop and focus on yourself—and you did it without much effort I bet.

Even though that moment took little effort to complete, the reality is most of us can't find enough of these moments to constitute a feeling of contentment. Our days are filled to the brim with the things we need, want, and have to do—our schedules overrun with both what we can and, probably, shouldn't carry.

Here's a bit of science for you to consider: A minute is comprised of 60 seconds and, over the course of our 16 waking hours, we watch 960 (on average) of those minutes float away in all the things we need to get done. Understanding that, how is it that most of us can't take even a few of those 960 minutes for ourselves?

Of course, suggesting that you make time where there is none is like waiting for pigs to fly, so here's a plan that even the most time-strained individual should be able to follow: find five minutes within every hour that is just for you—trust me when I say those five minutes are there for the taking—and use them to declutter your mind, focus on positive energy, and take in the moment—no matter what is going on within it—so that you can remember what it's like to be "present" as a sentient being. 

Sure, the time might be more purposeful if it's spent in a candle-lit room, filled with soothing music, but by no means is that the only way to find perfect peace. You can learn to quiet your mind even when it's embedded within the world's chaos and step one is remembering that you have the power to quiet your mind and refocus your energy.

A trick I've used is to tell myself that the more chaotic things are, the calmer I should become. My brain, my consciousness, my psyche, my spirit—whatever you wish to call it—is programmed to use chaos as a trigger for peace within my body.

That said, you have to find what works for you.

90 minutes is what you should be able to give yourself. If that sounds like a lot, it isn't—it's only 15 percent of your average day—and believe me when I say you are worth that and then some.

Related articles

• Time moves on.......cherish the Moments (personalpower4me.wordpress.com)
• What is Quality Time? (kleenexmums.com.au)
• Fill each moment with value (mathilic.wordpress.com)

Namaste: Working To Be Better At Being Me

This won't be a long post, but it's one that I felt heavily prompted to write today.

I am a wife, mother, and seeker of all things real in this world. I know that sounds corny to some of you, but that's who I am—it's my truth—that's my version of who I am in a nutshell. However, with that realization, I am never far from the reality of how much growing I still have yet to do.

As a wife, I do my best to be a friend and confidante to the man in my life because I don't think any marriage (or partnership) is worth having if it is had minus communication, loyalty, and love. The three come as a package deal and work in conjunction—not independently of each other—and require daily practice by both parties in order to be effective.

As a mother, I've discovered that I am better at the practical things—organization, providing loving care and nourishment, and being the best role model I can be—but I understand my limits as well. I play with my children, but I don't consider myself a playful person. Their father makes for a much more fascinating playmate and that works fine for them—and for us.

And finally, as a seeker of all things real, I am drawn to things that are both of this world and not. I want to learn new things and expose myself to the world in a more spiritually connective way because I feel that far too many of us take the world in which we live, breathe, and love for granted.

So, through my weekly practice of reading spiritually awakening literature and diving faithfully into the practice of Yoga, I feel more whole with each new day that greets me—isn't that all any of us want to feel?

My life is by no means perfect, but I don't expect it to be. Perfection isn't attainable, but living a life filled with grace is, and that's all I ever hope to do.

Finding Balance Without Losing Your Center

Here's a true fact about me: I am typically all the way to one side or the other where serious matters are concerned. I can find the so-called grey area, but I don't often subscribe to it because I feel that to be a woman of conviction, you actually need to have convictions.

That said, the inherent danger in never allowing yourself to see the other side, or at least empathize with the person from whom it's coming, is you might find it difficult to later feel the compassion your heart needs to make the necessary connections to causes outside of your own.

I struggle daily with my ability to see the other side of the coin because I have made it my personal goal to be strong in my beliefs and not allow the outside world to twist or manipulate those ideals in any way. However, by that same token, I also know that I should not allow my beliefs to be so pervasive that I fail to understand the beliefs of  others. I know the golden rule of life—or at least as it pertains to my life—'as easily as that can be one person's plight, it could be mine also'.

Keeping the latter in mind, I treat everyone with the same level of respect that I would want for myself. It's only fair. We don't have to agree to have an intelligent conversation, we just need to understand that we each come to the table with our own theory of what's best.

To live life in the middle can be a good thing, but don't go overboard. Have convictions of your own and remain open to the discussions of those who hold the opposite point of view. Your life has to be about something more than just nodding your head in agreement with every new idea you are given. Find your truth and let it guide your life.

Related articles

• The Golden Rule (investstratcre.wordpress.com)

Bend But Don't Break

Recently, I found myself faced with an uncomfortable decision. It was a decision that, no matter what I chose to do, was going to force me to reevaluate my approach to daily living. It was a situation so perplexing in its suddenness that it caused me to question both my strength and my character as a woman.

As I tussled with the prospect of losing this small, yet seminal, amount of control that I had become accustomed to having in my life, I discovered something very important about myself—I'm still growing as both a physical and emotional being.

I had begun to pride myself on being able to be both honest and real where matters of life were concerned and I no longer thought I was capable of such immature regressions because I understood, theoretically, the ramifications of each decision I made and each conflict I was presented with resolving. I had convinced myself that having knowledge about the outcome made me immune to reacting to anything in a rash manner.

I was wrong.

Here's a clue for all of you who, like me, have bought into the notion that your mental state is at-ease and completely mature: it isn't and you're not.

There are challenges awaiting each of us in this world and those challenges are meant to act as  reminders of not only how far you have to go, but of how much you've truly learned about your strength and integrity.

You cannot prepare for everything. Life is not predictable and your emotional self is not always prepared to handle everything that comes its way. You are meant to respond and act spontaneously, sometimes without warning or rationality, and that's okay.

Go with it.

The crime there is never in being true to your feeling, but rather in not recognizing the experience as an opportunity for growth and recognition of both where you are and where you someday want to be.

Related articles

• Job One is Learning to Live (eliseonlife.wordpress.com)
• strength: a personal account (thereaction.wordpress.com)
• Equip yourself for the battles of life. (howtotrulylive.com)

How Gratitude Can Be Key to Success and Happiness in Your Life

Guest Author: Lorenzo Cicetti

We understand that your attitude and personality are one of the most important things that will bring you success in life and in business. Think about it; which would you prefer: to work with someone who is negative about their life all the time or with someone who is positive and upbeat about the future? A person who is focused on the future, who is helpful, and who has determination and hard work will be successful. He is much more powerful than the one that is steeped in doubt. These entail an attitude of gratefulness for the life he has. This is the reason why gratitude is so important.

You may have heard of the law of attraction - what you put out into the universe, you receive in turn. Since thoughts are energy, it is only logical that energy impacts the physical world around us. This is why it is extremely important to be careful of how your emotions control you! If you can keep a positive mindset, you will receive positive effects in your life. Gratitude is one of the most important things you can implement in your daily life. Think about it, when you have forgiven someone, or you are happy with your life situation, life seems so much easier.

No matter how bad life is, there is always something that you can be grateful for. If you can not think of anything, you need to take some time out of your life: sit down, think, and write it down. Thank God, the universe, whatever your preference is that you have someone or something special in your life to be thankful for. Keep real reminders about what you are working for;for whom or for what reason, and you will be able to make gratitude a part of your daily life.

Think about the successful people. They have pictures of their families on their desks. This helps them stay motivated and they are reminded why they are at work that day! You do not need pictures to do this. Just any little object that will bring about the feelings of gratitude in you will work. Perhaps, your degree, pictures from a holiday that you took, or maybe a picture of your goal that you are working towards.

Once you develop that attitude of gratitude, your mindset will be realigned! When you get in touch with your higher mind that is full of positive thoughts, you will reap its benefits!

Lorenzo is a Personal Development Coach and an Internet Marketing Trainer that shares his knowledge to empower people achieve their dreams and goals. Please visit Gratitude: Success in Business for tips and advice.

'Perseverance' Is Not A Dirty Word

Most of us give up too easily. We hit a little wall, suffer through a bit too much resistance, and we throw our hands up and say—to heck with this—I'm done. Well, what if you decided not to do that? What if you took your lumps, let whatever it was hit you with it's best shot, and said, "is that the best you can do? Is that all you've got?...seriously, well, you're gonna have to do better than that!"

I'm no oracle, but I'm willing to place a large bet that you would find yourself in a much more favorable position than you might otherwise be had you instead decided to give up.

The human spirit is one that is begging to be tested. You are built to be much stronger than you're likely allowing yourself to become, yet you spend the better part of your existence watching, exasperated, from the sidelines as life and opportunities pass you by. Even more, you look at the person you perceive to be a 'go-getter' and are colored greener than green with envy and admiration for their having done all the things you've already told yourself you cannot do.

Why torture yourself? This life is meant to be lived with purpose. You cannot let your life live you, you have to live your life, and that cannot be done if you aren't willing to get bruised and battered a bit along the way.

Perseverance in tough times builds character for the long haul and that makes for a life filled with experiences—both good and bad—that helps bring you into the person you most hope to be by the time you reach your fullest potential.

So, stop building roadblocks with your own hands. Allow yourself the opportunity—dare I say, the privilege—to be knocked down, to fail, to be defeated because it is only then that you will know the sweetness of life's blessings.

Just keep living, learning, and persevering to the end.

Related articles

• Perseverance (thethirdcross.wordpress.com)
• Using THEM to see yourself clearly (cnn.com)
• Persevere (bellyquestions.wordpress.com)

There's Always One Moment

Each morning, around the time I manage to get my bearings together (in other words, about the time I realize it is morning, I do have to get up, and it will be another busy day), I've found myself engaging in one particular ritual: There's about sixty seconds where I decide if I will be a positive or a negative presence on the day.

Now, I know what you're thinking, who chooses to be a "negative" presence? Negativity isn't usually the go-to option of anyone. We all strive to be positive, don't we? Well...not really.

Think about it, in choosing to be positive, you are committing to taking each moment as it comes—with zero preconceived notions.

For example, let's say you agree to meet a friend for lunch, and that particular friend has been known to be a touch over-dramatic—about everything. You might find that you actually begin to "prepare" yourself for your interaction with them before it actually happens.

Through that act of preparation alone, you've already begun setting the tone for your lunch date.

Whereas, if you chose to take things as they came, and remained open to the possibility of good (i.e. perhaps this time they will be different), you would leave room for a less stressful atmosphere because, let's face it, if you go in with negative expectations, that is precisely what is likely to greet you.

Does that mean you won't become annoyed if your friend does indeed live up to their reputation? No, but at least you wouldn't have diminished the chance of having a pleasant lunch simply by attaching your negative energy.

Positivity takes conscious effort. You have to work hard at it, daily, if you expect to make it a habit. And each new day will force you to make a choice as to who you will be in this world.

What will your choice be today? 

Sometimes You Get In Your Own Way

I'm constantly amazed at how wonderful the world looks through the eyes of a child. Everything they see and hear is a source of wonderment for them, and they never complain about their experience (no matter how big or small it might be)—most just appreciate the opportunity to be a part of the moment.

It's truly a beautiful thing to watch, and it got me to thinking, where has our childlike wonder gone?

We have evolved into a nation of people who are either distracted by the enormity of our responsibilities, or absent altogether. None of us are willing to take a moment to see what this life has to offer because we remain blinded by the negativity of its occupants.

In short, we're paying attention to the wrong things and we're too out of touch to realize it.

The children of this world, even the so-called "broken" ones, provide the perspective that we all need to be seeing this life through. Their lens offers the clearest, most consistent, and most positive path to what we all hope is our ultimate destination—happiness and peace.

Of course some might say the ability to revert to such a pure way of thought was lost long ago. "We simply know too much" now to make a change.

How does one forget the pain, the sacrifice, and the knowledge he/she has gained—that same knowledge that led us to the way we feel/think today—jaded and skeptical that this life has anything good to offer? How can we erase these thoughts when they play such an intrinsic part in who we are?

To that I only say you're thinking too hard.

To approach each day like a child, you would cease to dwell on the infinite impossibilities presented by this life, but rather, instead, be awakened and energized by the endless possibilities that your presence within it presents.

You must remember that you are a bright beacon of light, no matter how hard the world might try to dim you. It's up to you to take what this world has to offer and make the best of it.

You are your only true roadblock to progression and sometimes you have to have the strength to get out of your own way.

Are You "Set" In Your Ways?

People describe individuals who aren't open to change, or new ideas, as "set" in their way—don't bother engaging those types of people in a conversation meant to evoke an intelligent, productive, debate—you're  wasting your time.

As easy a write-off as that explanation might be, I don't buy it. Despite what you have been told,  no one is set in their way. Some people are simply more resistant to change than others because they fear the unknown and we are all, to some degree, guilty of that.

Over a period of time we become comfortable with the knowledge we have acquired and we don't look kindly upon people who challenge us on those notions. Our knowledge, derived from years of personal experience, forms the foundation of our paradigms and when those paradigms are challenged, the natural instinct for many of us is to fight back and reject the new. And, we extend those rejections not because we are unwilling to accept that they might be right, but rather because we cannot deal with the possibility that we might be wrong.

It's as much about ego as it is about principle. 

However, none of us can become better versions of ourselves if we choose to remain ignorant to the changes and the people that dwell among us. You must be willing to accept the possibility that what you know isn't absolute, and you must remain open to more than just what you've come to know if you ever expect to learn anything else of substance. 

Understand this: As a reasonable, intelligent, and sentient human being, you always have the capacity to evolve—both in mind and in body—that journey is endless. To disrespect that journey, by never giving yourself the chance to accept or understand the unfamiliar, is to lay waste to all the possibilities that life has to offer.

Do not allow yourself to be stifled by a stubborn resistance to change. Trust that you are worth more than that, and allow yourself to become better than even you could have ever imagined.

Day 25: Find Your Fight...

Most people are content to admit that they are defeated. Believe it or not, it's easier to give up than it is to say, "you know what, no matter what happens here, I'm all-in ". No we, as human beings, feel the easier way is to disappear and accept that we are not strong enough to win.

In truth, there is fight in all of us.

While some of us may not know our strengths yet, we do understand our weaknesses well enough to not leave them exposed. We know where our deepest fears lay, and it is that understanding that keeps us from putting ourselves out there to rise up against the challenges and conflicts that life sets in our path.

That said, it's important to realize that inaction is as dangerous as action.

If you allow yourself to fall prey to circumstance, you will never break free from the negativity or the misery that surrounds you. It's important that you always remember that you have the option of fighting—always.

Never allow the fears fed to you by self-doubt keep you from making progress. Find that lion inside your heart and make it roar. Make it roar loud enough that everyone can hear you—show this world just how strong you truly are.

Day 24: Your Worth Is Infinite...

If you work hard, and live right, there is always a part of you that is looking to be rewarded for giving your maximum effort. And, while the payoff may not always arrive in the form you most desire, you should not be negatively viewed for expecting some amount of acknowledgment for what you've done.

The problem with most of us is we feel like we don't have the right to expect a "thank you" or a "nice job" in return for being generous with our time, but we couldn't be more wrong.

When you give of yourself, particularly when you do so at the expense of the time you might otherwise spend with family, friends, or in self-enhancement, you are elevating that person or cause to first priority; thereby sending a message that they/their cause is important to you—there is both honor and sacrifice in doing such.

For that alone, you deserve to be recognized and, in accepting that recognition, you need to feel confident that you aren't being self-centered or selfish, but rather understanding that your actions are worthy of praise—even if it's minor in nature.

To be clear, I am in not saying you should walk around expecting pats on the back or statues erected in your honor.  Humility is still expected, and no charitable act should be taken solely for the purpose of receiving an accolade.

However, if you are giving all the time, without ever receiving anything in return—even if it's only a "thank you"—then there is something wrong and, at some point, you could grow to resent the person or cause that you are devoting your efforts towards because you feel your sacrifices aren't being appreciated or considered.

Own your compassion in such a way that you never allow your kindness to be the button others are allowed to press for personal gain because while your worth is infinite, your time is short, and you should never let anyone use your time to such a degree that you feel worthless.

Day 14: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say...

Believe it or not, that's a hard concept for some people to grasp. They don't get the difference between talking to somebody and talking at them—trust me, the two are not the same.

It has always been my philosophy to be honest with myself about the point I'm trying to make. Emotions are too easy to get caught up in, and words become like daggers with poisoned tips for you to spew out, rapid fire, until you can emerge victorious—albeit stained with the blood and guts of the person you've disemboweled.

The analogy may seem vivid and violent, but it illustrates just how damaging words can be.

With that said, it's always important to approach, potentially, volatile situations with a plan. Ask yourself where your head is before you engage in an emotional debate with someone you care about. If you know you are angry, hurt, or overly sensitive, perhaps it's best to table the discussion for a later time—when you can be more rational.

However, if you are caught up in the heat of the moment, and the tussle gets harsh enough that the vitriol begins to well-up within you, and make it's way to the tip of your tongue, stop and ask yourself what it is you wish to say—is your ultimate goal to hurt or to educate?

If your aim is to hurt, then it doesn't need to be said. Spite for spite's sake is useless and it causes nothing but more pain in the long run. 

If the aim is to educate the individual about your needs, your expectations, and your qualms, then that's productive. That's a starting point for the healing process and a step towards personal growth for you because you are learning how to communicate your emotions in a more mature manner.

Whatever you do, take care not to place yourself in a situation that you'll be sorry for later and, always remember, words linger longer than circumstances. No matter how your issues get resolved, a person never forgets the way something you said made them feel—don't plant the seeds of negativity that could later spring up and overwhelm you or your relationship.

Neither of you may be able to recover.

Day Ten: Sometimes Life Can Be Tough...

People love to wonder why "bad things happen to good people"...well, in truth, they happen to bad people too—we just don't care as much. Life isn't easy for any of us, but for those who have faith, it's a lot easier to take the good with the bad.

The amazing thing about life is how often so many of us take the little things for granted because we are too busy complaining about the big things. Of course that's only natural, no one likes to have his/her progress impeded by obstacles. So, we rail against those intrusions with our fists clenched tight and our voices screaming loudly to no one in particular: "WHY ME?!? WHY ME?"

Well, why not you? Who are you, specifically, to be immune to disaster? Last check there were only two mortals in the last 50-years who could profess to be even the slightest bit unnerved by life's injustice—one was named Ghandi and the other was named Mother Teresa—neither showed a penchant for complaining much.

The truth is, you aren't immune to anything. Life is going to take its best shot at you because that's what it's supposed to do. So, the real question you need to be asking instead of "why me?" is "what am I going to do about it?"

Day Two: Whose Life Are YOU Living?

You can either let others live for you or you can live your own life. Take a stand, be proud of who you are, and remember that you are your own legacy—leave something behind that you can be proud of.

It's a simple concept, really, most of us have no idea how to live our own life. We are all constantly influenced by the environment around us: people, places, commercials, television, movies, friends, colleagues, etc. There is, literally, no way of understanding where the "I" begins because it is so intertwined in the "we" of society.

So, how does one detach from the madness long enough to gain an understanding of who they actually are—minus the bull? Well, there are no hard-line answers to that question, but there is a methodology to it all that can make that act a lot easier:

1. Make a list of everything you think defines you.


2. Mark off all the items that relate to your profession, your material  possessions, and your education.


3. Now, look at that list...what's left?

If the answer is "nothing", you have a lot of work to do. However, if what you see in front of you is a list filled with possibilities, something you—the person—can build on, start from there.

The point is, no one is looking for you to lead a perfect life and, the pursuit of said perfection will never grant you the happiness that you're looking for. Stop wasting time looking for that elusive and fantasy-born ideology of a "happily ever after"—it's not there.

Start living the life that makes YOU happy and let that life make this world a better place to be present in—for you, for others, and for the legacy you haven't created yet.