Day 24: Your Worth Is Infinite...

If you work hard, and live right, there is always a part of you that is looking to be rewarded for giving your maximum effort. And, while the payoff may not always arrive in the form you most desire, you should not be negatively viewed for expecting some amount of acknowledgment for what you've done.

The problem with most of us is we feel like we don't have the right to expect a "thank you" or a "nice job" in return for being generous with our time, but we couldn't be more wrong.

When you give of yourself, particularly when you do so at the expense of the time you might otherwise spend with family, friends, or in self-enhancement, you are elevating that person or cause to first priority; thereby sending a message that they/their cause is important to you—there is both honor and sacrifice in doing such.

For that alone, you deserve to be recognized and, in accepting that recognition, you need to feel confident that you aren't being self-centered or selfish, but rather understanding that your actions are worthy of praise—even if it's minor in nature.

To be clear, I am in not saying you should walk around expecting pats on the back or statues erected in your honor.  Humility is still expected, and no charitable act should be taken solely for the purpose of receiving an accolade.

However, if you are giving all the time, without ever receiving anything in return—even if it's only a "thank you"—then there is something wrong and, at some point, you could grow to resent the person or cause that you are devoting your efforts towards because you feel your sacrifices aren't being appreciated or considered.

Own your compassion in such a way that you never allow your kindness to be the button others are allowed to press for personal gain because while your worth is infinite, your time is short, and you should never let anyone use your time to such a degree that you feel worthless.

Day 23: You Can Do Bad All By Yourself...

There are a high-percentage of miserable people in this world who have one goal: to make your life miserable too.

They don't appreciate seeing you happy, accomplished, blessed, or ambitious. No, it's far easier and more satisfying to them if you fall flat on your face—a complete and utter failure.

Those kinds of people are better left in a boat, sailing alone, in an endless river—towards oblivion. Well, maybe not oblivion, but they definitely should not be allowed to be a functional part of your daily life because they, ultimately, serve no purpose.

While it's easy to understand the nature of a person who is willing to try and build a relationship with such a character—even Judas had friends—it's not smart for your soul. You cannot rely on that subtle instinct within you that says you can be the difference. You can make this person into a better man/woman simply by not giving up on them—showing them they too are worthy of greatness and love.

That's silly. Your job isn't to save them, it's to enhance your life in the best way you can and, chances are, that journey won't go very far if you continue pulling the 500 pound anchor that is negativity and resentment around with you. Let that person evolve by his or herself and not at the expense of your growth.

Now, if said individual resides in close proximity to you, let's say it's your friend, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, life-partner, or what have you, start asking yourself what Y-O-U are getting from an association that's so emotionally stalling—why do you feel you need to have this person in your life?
What purpose do they serve?

If their only function is in making you feel like, by comparison, you are much better person than they—shame on you. However, if they serve no purpose other than to drain you emotionally, physically, and psychologically, then why have them in your life?

Misery can be attained without help...don't waste your life giving it company.

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Day 22: Open Your Mind...

The biggest mistake that many of us make is in believing that our way is the only way to get something done.

Sure, it's wholly possible that you have devised the most efficient, effective, and effortless way to do a particular thing, but that doesn't mean that is the best way for everyone else.

Each of us makes our own way in this world via a path that we set, using the method that's most comfortable for us.

We might take cues from different schools of thought on how we might best accomplish our desired goal but, in the end, we still have to make our own way—and we do.

That said, you have to be willing to allow others to do the same.

Don't force your views, beliefs, or philosophy on another just because you feel they are incapable of being successful without the,—that's not only arrogant, but short-sighted on your part. Be respectful of the process each person needs in order to reach their maximum potential—not yours.

In the end, I'm simply advocating acceptance.

Accept the fact that your way isn't the only way. Allow yourself the opportunity to see things from another perspective, and allow that perspective to be an additional feather in your cap as you continue to evolve, learn, and grow.

Day 21: Testing Your Patience...

Sometimes the person you love the most can get under your skin. It's a privilege they have, born of the simple fact that they either a) have known you for a long time or b) are connected to you by blood.

In either case, they know where to hit you where it hurts when they get good and ready and, despite your best attempts, their daggers are difficult to ignore.

Understanding this point, you begin to realize that there will be situations where you cannot handle things diplomatically and you'll have to find your own way to fight back against the emotional and psychological conflict.

But how do you accomplish such a feat? What can you do that can be equally as effective, and nerve-wrecking as what they are doing to you?...Say nothing.

Be silent. Be Patient. Be still.

Now, I know what you're thinking. It immediately occurs to you that some things need to be addressed, and you are right—they do. However, choose to address them calmly. Don't yell, don't scream, don't trade barbs. Just correct what is wrong, and return to your silent meditation. By doing so, the person loses their target and the conflict loses it's luster.

No one wants to fight alone.

Become a temporary island where irrationality, bitterness, and contempt are not allowed to drop anchor—redirect those things, along with their carriers, to another location. Tell them to return only when they can be more intelligent with what they have to say and, in the meantime, say nothing.

Be silent. Be patient. Be still.

Day 19: Are You Listening?...

It's easy to talk. I, personally, am a great talker when amongst friends and family. However, the art of listening is one that many of us have forgotten how to use.

This world has become soaked in voices—most of which are trying hard to be the loudest, most recognized, and influential voices in the world. No one wants to actually hear anything anymore, they just want to talk about how bad something is and incite us towards action because, "it's the right thing to do".

Well, here's the problem with that theory, it only works for the person who is listening the most intently with both ears, an open heart, and a clear intention to be more than just a face in the crowd because, quite honestly, most of us are a lot less interested in what the voice has to say than we are with the person saying it.


In other words, we choose sides based on arbitrary factors: political affiliation, religious leanings, race, ethnicity, gender, etc. We no longer truly can hear what the message is because we are too caught up in the messenger.

The result is a society that has forgotten the value of independent thinking in exchange for being a part of the most popular group of "listeners" this world has to offer.

It's time that we all start listening better, and challenging the voices within ourselves to make themselves heard. Not because we want to become the center of attention but, more importantly, because there is room for more than one voice to be heard—start making one of them be your own.

Day 16: Don't Be A Doormat...

It is in the nature of a few less evolved beings to gain confidence by belittling, insulting, or invalidating another. It's a character flaw within them that cannot be corrected by anything that you say or do so, your best bet is to disassociate yourself from that person altogether and pursue a healthier relationship elsewhere.

Don't waste time trying to change the person or make them understand your point of view, just make a clean break from them altogether so they can, hopefully, be forced into the self-evaluation that they so desperately need to undertake.

In other words, there is no honor in being someone's plaything. You have to make the decision to believe that you are worthy of better than a relationship where a person's only aim is to use you to feel good about themselves.

Life is too short and the population too big to accept that you aren't worthy of more than a modicum of respect.

Don't be the doormat that people are content to walk on, there are plenty enough people ready to fulfill that role already—you don't need to add to that number. Instead, be the confident, potential-laden, person that you were born to be and make your friendship a privilege not an entitlement.