Discipline Takes Practice

Paulin Nordin

Oh how I do struggle with this issue. Some days I am completely good about staying far, far away from the foods that I grew up loving. While others I find myself giving in to the temptation and pull of a food simply because "it tastes sooooooooooo good".

Of course I immediately feel guilty about it and punish myself with a killer workout the next day—reinforcing the notion that I should have left it alone in the first place—but the penance I pay only lasts until the next slip-up undoubtedly happens and then...BOOM!

Well, today was one of those days. I didn't eat well because I simply wanted to go "off the wagon" and eat something delicious and hearty for a change. Lifting, circuit-training, biking, etc. is all good for this body of mine but it also means I spend a great deal of my day looking for my next meal. And, did I mention I absolutely love food?

Inasmuch as I've gotten away from meat—tofu and soy are infinitely more desireable options to me at this point—and eschew most things dairy (although I don't know that I'll ever leave cheese), I do have my weaknesses. And when life gets ridiculously busy, I turn to those vices by the boatload.

When this happens, I start looking for ways to get myself back on track: a fellow woman-in-training, a photo, a quote, a song...or a simple blog post written by someone whose life is all about what I'm trying to become—the very definition of fit.

I found that inspiration today via Muscle and Fitness Hers; it was in a blog post written by Pauline Nordin—a fitness fanatic who has conditioned and trained herself into a fighting machine. Here's what she had to say about those days when the cravings seems to overwhelm your good intentions:

...when you cheat on your diet, you condition your brain into believing that it’s okay to give in. So when the urge to eat crappy food is strong enough, that’s it -- you will give in. To break this habit, you have to be consistent in saying no to the craving. When you are consistent, you give that response strength and you know that there is no damn way that cookie craving is going to derail you from your plan.

I read that and a light bulb went off for me because so often I just feel like—man...what did I just do here? LOL.

But reading that post reminded me that discipline takes practice and the destination I'm trying to end at won't come without setbacks.

So, today I lost, but as Scarlett O'Hara would say, "...tomorrow is another day".

Where Have I Been?

It's been several weeks since the 'Living Fit Mommy' blog has received any of my attention and I must admit, up front, that I currently post content for more than one site. This blog was always meant to be the one with more personal insight into me as a married, mother of two, with a strong desire to have the body of goddess (no, I'm not kidding about that last point either. I literally do about 1000 sit-ups a day and exercise more than I likely should in an effort to reach my personal physical goal of being "too sexy").

But, egoism aside, and more seriously than that, I write this blog because I need a release from the daily dial of being completely overwhelmed by this world of mine. It's a state that I have found myself in more often than not over the last couple of months—due in large part to dealing with the death of a very close relative—and I could not juggle it all. I needed, as they say, "a minute". 

I'm not Superwoman, by any stretch, and my faith, patience, convictions, and personal views on life, love, and family took quite a hit after losing a loved one so dear and I struggled mightily to find my center again.

That's the edited truth of it.

Thankfully, my foundation wasn't built on sand, but on God, and that's a hard foundation to obliterate without decidedly making the decision to forsake all I know and walk away from His love completely.

And that, my friends, is something I will never choose to do.

That said, I've had to breathe and give myself a break from bearing my all here for a few weeks because, plain and simply, I couldn't handle the candid chatter without falling to pieces at my laptop.

But, I will be making a more concerted effort over the next few weeks to be more present here if for no other reason than I'm ready to try and come back to some semblance of normalcy in my creative life, too.

So bear with me and stick with me, I'm finding my way back. 

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County Agency Removes Obese Boy, Watch Out For That Slippery Slope

A report published in the Cleveland Plains-Dealer this morning discusses the recent removal of an 8-year old boy from his family home due to his being grossly overweight (he weighs 200 lbs).

The obvious reaction to a county run agency stepping in on such an issue is, I believe, summed up beautifully in this one quote from said article.

"...one could get ethical whiplash in a world where one arm of government is so concerned about a child's weight that it removes him from his home, while another branch of government argues that french fries and tomato paste on pizza should be counted as servings of vegetables."

Where on earth does the responsibility begin and end on both fronts?

I'll say right off the bat that I heavily empathize with the mother here because, although she has made strides to curb the unhealthy eating habits of her young son, she has often battled with environmental factors that often undercut her efforts when she's not around to monitor him.

Furthermore, as a single-mother, living on a substitute teaching income, she does not have the money to enroll her son at the local YMCA or hire the services of a dietician to help her navigate the often confusing world of food.

As one who often takes great pains to read labels and obey serving sizes, I know precisely how challenging it can be to discern the good foods from the not-so-good ones, and I can say that's this is not a skill that can be developed overnight.

Keeping all of this in mind, how can any agency justify removing this child from his home based solely on his physical condition?

I worked in child protective services for a short time and I can tell you, without hesitation, that I've seen more children left in homes where physical and verbal abuse are present than I would have liked and those same children exhibited signs of abuse at the time of the investigation–yet they remained with the parents because removal was a last resort.

So, what's the message we're sending in this instance, you can abuse your child, but if you feed them too much, we're gonna take them away?

Sounds silly, if you ask me.

How about you try to help fix what's broken before you destroy families who don't have the resources to make immediate changes to a learned—and heretofore unchecked—lifestyle.

I'm not making excuses for this mother–I applaud this agency for being proactive and taking the steps necessary to address this matter– However, instead of removing a well-adjusted child into a foster homes (prior to the removal, this boy was on the honor roll) how about you offer alternatives to the parent?

The article states that the agency has looked into moving the child to a home where a personal trainer exists. How about gifting the mother a gym membership and arranging bi-monthly visits with a registered dietician who can assist them in reaching their goals?

Why stress county/state funds by doling out money to a foster parent—who can request reimbursements for travel to and from medical appointments and also receives a monthly payment for keeping said child in their home—enrolling yet another individual into the medicaid program (because you can bet that money for this boy's healthcare will need to come from somewhere),or setting up yet another situation where food stamps will be needed just because you're not thinking outside the box?

Obesity isn't a community problem, it's a social one,and a fix for it is needed at every level—starting with the federal government.

I'm all for offering help to those who are actively trying to make a change in the way their families think about food, but that change will take time—particularly if that particular family is struggling to make ends meet and the cheapest food available is often not the healthiest—but don't confuse intervention with education.

Think first, then act.

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Money, Money, Money

I'm terrible with money. I'm not saying I can't make decisions on where to put it, how to spend it, or who to give it to, but only that where money is concerned I am terrible about negating my priority as a mother in favor of helping out the pockets or lifestyle of a friend or family member.

My theory as far as money is concerned is fairly straightforward: live your life and I'll live mine.  While I am fully aware that this goes against the philosophy I espouse here on how life is about creating unity amongst each other and tossing out material notions, I am also quite content holding this ideal because I feel my family comes first—I won't jeopardize their comfort or needs simply to prove I am not selfish or superficial.

As children growing up in a single-parent household, my mother's main concern was that we have the privileges she never had growing up as the eldest of nine children. She didn't always have the opportunity to get the things she wanted, when she wanted them, but that feeling of 'want' embedded within her the desire to educate and place herself in a position to where when she had children of her own, they would have more than she ever could have imagined for herself—and we did.

My goal is to carry that standard forward for my children. I want them to see things I've never seen, do things I've never done, and experience life in a way that makes them know how big this world is and how much of a right they have to make their place in it be a special one. And, to be honest, it takes money to do many of those things.

So, when a person (family member, friend, or otherwise) asks me for money that is outside of my comfort level, I have no trouble saying no because I have to consider the repercussions of that decision, on my family and our life, beyond just that moment. That's the honest truth.

Does that mean I don't lend money to those in need? No, it doesn't, it just means I know there's a difference between being helpful and giving your money away. I choose to be helpful when and where I can, but I never do it without considering my priorities first and that should never be considered as a form of selfishness—in my opinion.

Carb Crazy: Don't Fear The Bread, Fear The Flour

Diana Vreeland once said, "people who eat white bread have no dreams". Vreeland, a noted fashion editor for Harpers-Bazaar, and one time Editor-in-Chief for Vogue magazine, was considered an icon in the fashion industry during the 50's, 60's, and 70's. In short, she wasn't a dietician, nor did the surgeon general have her on speed dial, but the quote still resonates today as one of great insight by a woman who lived for a very long time without any significant health problems. 

That said, I love bread! Love. It. And I would be a wreck if I had to completely eliminate it from my diet, and don't even get me started on pasta—Italian cuisine is a staple in my kitchen. I cook a pasta-based meal at least once a week!

So, when I began the process of changing my lifestyle to one focused on healthier eating and more purposeful exercise, I considered all the alternatives for my bread and pasta loving habits and what I found out very early was that it wasn't necessarily the bread or pasta that was bad, but the type of bread or pasta and, like anything else, the amount I chose to eat.

First off, look for breads made using whole grains as opposed to white flour. While you do not have to forfeit your love of carbohydrates to get the waistline you so desire, you do have significantly reduce your intake of sugar—a prime culprit in most items made using white flour—if you wish to lessen the possibility of additional weight gain.

Secondly, watch your intake. Don't gorge—moderation is a key component in everything.

Finally, don't shy away from pasta. Personally, I have taken to eaten pasta noodles made from tofu as they have less calories and offer—at least for me—as delightful an alternative as regular spaghetti. There are even gluten-free versions available.

The point here is you don't have to sacrifice bread to lose weight or maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's all about moderation and using the information you can find on food labels in order to make the best decision for you and your lifestyle.

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Exercise Jolt: Don't Fall Victim To Laziness

I get tired.

I get so tired, in fact, that sometimes I don't want to eat right, exercise, or put on one piece of exercise gear—some days I just don't feel good. And, it is on those types of days that I choose to do one of two things: 1) not exercise at all, or 2) exercise more vigorously than usual.

You don't have to be a workout warrior 5-6 days a week—every week—no one will flog you if you miss a day, but you should choose to take breaks when they are necessary, not simply as a result of laziness or lack of motivation.

If you're mood is due to fatigue or health issues, then maybe you should listen to your body and accept that day as one that's long overdue—there's no glory in pushing a tired body past the point of exhaustion. That type of dedication might impress some, but your body will pay for your overeager ways at some point.

However, if you're just having a bad day or feeling lazy because you broke your nutritional routine by having that extra slice of chocolate cake, well, maybe you need to let that be your motivation instead of your reason to stagnate.

It's on those days, that we feel the least ready to get going in our routines, that we should strive the hardest to do so—trust me when I tell you that you will feel so much better if you do than if you don't.

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Staying Fit Means Keeping Excuses To A Minimum

As a mother of two, I worked hard to get back to my pre-baby body after my pregnant one took over and—though I haven't one regret about the experience of being pregnant—it was a challenge that was both frustrating and character building at the same time.

So when I hear women say that it's "impossible" to look good post pregnancy, I find myself perplexed—call it arrogance, call it ignorance, call it an inability to empathize, but I feel it's just an excuse to not do better.

There are many women out there who managed to get back to a healthy size minus a gym or a trainer and despite the responsibilities of being a mother.

I choose to take a little time for myself, everyday,  to exercise. I do yoga, meditate, or play with the kids, but I make a decision to put my body into motion. I work hard at it not only to appease the vain side that exists to some degree in every one of us—let's face it, we all like to look great in a pair of jeans—but also to teach my children to 1) never neglect the Temple God gave you, and 2) to always remember to make time for bettering yourself—even if it means putting something or someone on hold for a moment.

Now, before the mommies cite me for being a bad parent, let me make this very clear: my kids are my top priority. They don't lack for anything as far as love, attention, and nourishment are concerned—nor does the hubby for that matter. But, in order to be that woman who can do it all, or at least appear to, I have to attend to me first, and that means feeling good about the skin I'm in.

Every woman deserves to look in the mirror and feel like a pretty girl—no matter what her age. Being fit—like it or not—contributes to that perspective, and you won't get fit by sitting on the sofa making excuses.

Am I saying you have to be a size 4? No, absolutely not, but I am saying that there is always time for you, so, take it and use it wisely.

Valentine's Day: Nominate A Happy Couple....for Stoning? (VIDEO)

Okay, full disclosure, I do not "celebrate" Valentine's Day. I don't expect the flowers, the candy, or even the jewelry. That day is just like any other for me and I don't feel the least bit bad if nothing happens to make if feel more special.

That said, I never judge those who do choose to make it an event worth remembering because, well, why not? However, this video (seen below) did give me quite the laugh—it's complete nonsense, of course—but that doesn't make it any less funny to watch.

So, for all you Valentine's loathers out there, this one's for you:

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Christmas Gift Conundrum: Five Thrifty Gift Ideas For The Harried Mom In Your Life

Let me warn you right off the bat, this isn't your average Christmas list. While I do emphasize these as great gifts for the harried mom in your life, some may disagree with the choices below.

That said, as a mom myself, I am more given to practicality than extravagance—even at Christmas—and I can appreciate receiving a gift that makes my life easier.

So, let's just jump right in:

1. A book of stamps.

Seriously! While I have joined the electronic age and pay many of my bills online, I cannot tell you how often I run across a bill that requires a mail-in (curse you country power company) and it is safe to assume that I am not the only one.

Even more, the mere thought of purchasing a stamp seems time consuming. The driving, the waiting in line...who has time?

Think about it.

2. Dish towels.

We're all cooks—good or bad—and we spend a great deal of time in the kitchen. A lovely set of dish towels from HomeGoods or your favorite retailer is practical and useful.

My mom gave me two sets last year and they came in handy during this holiday season when I've spent so much time playing chef.

3. A DVR or TiVO.

Okay, they can be a bit pricey, but sometimes you have to splurge.

A DVR or TiVO device will allow your superwoman to record all of her favorite shows and watch them at a later date.

4. A handmade coupon book.

The one thing a busy mom never has enough of is time. Every hour of the day is usually accounted for and little of that involves anything for her. As moms, we aren't likely to fuss about that fact much—it's in our nature to be Superwoman—however, there is always the desire for a little "me-time".

So, why not make a coupon book that offers small opportunities for just that—time. The book could be for as many different occasions as you like (although 12 is a nice start) and could include items like:

• A Mom's Day Out—minus the kids.
• A night off from preparing dinner or cleaning up afterwards.
• An hour for taking a relaxing bath.
• A Free massage

Be creative!

5. A journal.

The one thing most don't do enough is take note of our own thoughts.

Journaling doesn't have to involve a daily entry or even a long one. It's simply an opportunity for getting some of the stress of the day off your chest and decompressing.

It's also a great way to maintain mental health.

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