Everything Comes To The Light

It's impossible to live a lie for very long. At some point you have to address the issues around you for what they are and try to bring the truth into focus. It won't matter that beneath the surface there lies a mountain of pain or that neither you, nor the involved party—assuming there is one—are ready to accept the truth. The ultimate goal, for you, will be to find peace.

Peace of mind, peace in heart, and peace for the soul you've neglected for so long by living in a way that's untrue to what you believe is the best version of yourself.

The trouble with love and relationships is that so many of us feel the need to give away the most important parts of what makes us who we are, so that we can co-exist with another. While compromise is always necessary where love (and to some extent friendship) is concerned, sacrifice should not be— there is a difference between the two.

However, when companionship is wanted, needed, we do what we feel we must to make it happen—we go outside of our character. We make changes because we feel it's better to be broken than alone. But, ask yourself this: is it worse to be alone with your self-respect and dignity, or broken but with someone?

A person that loves you, cares for you, and wants what's best for you, WILL NOT let you compromise who you are to be with them—they will love you for and, sometimes, in spite of those things, and you will work together to find a place for those parts within your relationship. You won't have to choose—and you shouldn't.

Despite what people tell you, two halves  don't make a relationship whole—you should be able to bring all of yourself to the table when you make the decision to turn over your heart. If that's not possible, step away—no matter how much it hurts.

Day 16: Don't Be A Doormat...

It is in the nature of a few less evolved beings to gain confidence by belittling, insulting, or invalidating another. It's a character flaw within them that cannot be corrected by anything that you say or do so, your best bet is to disassociate yourself from that person altogether and pursue a healthier relationship elsewhere.

Don't waste time trying to change the person or make them understand your point of view, just make a clean break from them altogether so they can, hopefully, be forced into the self-evaluation that they so desperately need to undertake.

In other words, there is no honor in being someone's plaything. You have to make the decision to believe that you are worthy of better than a relationship where a person's only aim is to use you to feel good about themselves.

Life is too short and the population too big to accept that you aren't worthy of more than a modicum of respect.

Don't be the doormat that people are content to walk on, there are plenty enough people ready to fulfill that role already—you don't need to add to that number. Instead, be the confident, potential-laden, person that you were born to be and make your friendship a privilege not an entitlement.

Day Ten: Know Your Dreams...

Do you know what you want out of life? If you don't, it's foolish to expect anyone else to be able to figure it out for you. Know yourself before you decide to become one with another—that can make all the difference.

Too many men and women are running around looking for a partner to define them. They don't feel complete without someone standing by their side telling them how important they are because they are loved.

Well, contrary to what you might have been told, you cannot count on another person to make you feel whole. It's far better to figure out who you are, for yourself, using your own devices, before you place your psyche into the control of another.

See, the trouble with losing yourself into a person is that if that person leaves, you won't know where to find what you have lost. How will you decipher the real you from the one who was attached to the label of girl or boyfriend? Do you know who you are minus your mate?

The question is the same where friendships are concerned. Don't attach your identity to the clique you claim or the social group you represent. You have to know who you are before you enter into a relationship, of any kind, with anybody. If you don't, you aren't doing yourself or those who wish to claim you, any favors.

Spend some time, alone, finding out exactly who you are now and who you want to be—get secure in that—and then take the steps to find the people who most compliment those ideals.

Day Three: Friendships Shouldn't Be Built On Lies...

You Weren't put on this earth to be a 'yes man'. If youHave to be that in order to remain A person's friend, keep walking, life is too short to spend it kissing someone's backside.

A true friend isn't going to be critical of you for having an opinion. There are always situations where your silence or tact are necessary, but you should never be okay with compromising your beliefs for the sake of pleasing another.

The true definition of friendship lay in the ability of two people to be honest with one another, no matter what the circumstance, and to, within that honesty, find comfort in the knowledge that it comes from a place of respect and love. If that can't happen, the friendship is doomed to fail because neither of you is "keeping it real".

Leave the phoniness at the door where your long-term relationships are concerned. No one needs a union based on BS.