There Is A Difference Between Being Silent and Being Stifled

"In the end we are all separate: our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities, but it is our differences we must learn to respect."

There are so many times when each of us feels a need to stay within the boundaries of conformity because we don't wish to offend or challenge the sensibilities of another.

It's safer to say nothing or silently disagree with those who forcefully offer us their opinion because we don't see or feel a need to fight. However, there is a difference between being silent and being stifled.

Your thoughts and opinions are every bit as important as those around you, and you must not allow yourself to be silenced just because your opinion does not meet with majority approval; thereby causing tension.

God created man in His image, but he never said that every man would be, think, or live in a like-minded way—he gave all of us free agency—we were meant to be individualistic in thought and action.

A few weeks back I got into a conversation with an Atheist who simply refused to understand why I held a belief in God. I stated my beliefs clearly, but the individual persisted and, at some points, rudely insinuated that this belief made me less intelligent. I politely disagreed and let them know that their opinion is their opinion, but I no longer felt a need to defend my truth to a person who wasn't willing to respect it.

This world is divisive in its makeup due to the presence of different religions, socio-economic statuses, political leanings, ethnicities, and races. None of us have exactly the same experiences in this life, so none of us will agree with everything each other has to say. That said, the most important thing to remember is to always respect others opinions, and expect the same of them for yourself.

Their voice is no more or less important than yours. Don't ever be afraid to be heard.

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Curiosity Can Help Eradicate Ignorance

There are "nosey" people and there are intellectually curious ones.

Nosey people want to know more than you do about everything and everybody. They don't necessarily concern themselves with whether or not the information is valid, or even worthwhile, they just want to be sure they are the ones privy to it first. It makes them feel important.

By contrast, intellectually curious people want to know something because it betters them
as individuals and citizens. They understand that only through knowledge can you overcome blind ignorance.

So, they seek out people, outlets, and materials that can benefit them in becoming more informed. That is how they best feel
they are able to play a part in making this world better.

As you grow into the person you wish to be, it's important that you never lose your zest for both finding out the unknown, and sharing that knowledge with others.

Be an instrument of action and never lose sight of how important a role you play in advancing the world around you—for the better.


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Day 29: Sometimes It's Best To Say Nothing...

Silence is an art. It takes a good bit of restraint to remain silent when everything within you is screaming to say something—anything—that will relieve the frustration and angst that has suddenly been instigated by the words/deeds of another.

The trick in recognizing when silence is best comes with understanding the motivation of the one with whom you are speaking and developing the ability to see beyond the immediate emotionality of the moment.

If the conversation seems prompted by frustration or anger—and you are certain that you have done nothing to cause the discomfort—you can be sure that this episode is one of misdirected anger. In which case, a decision to engage does nothing more than negatively fuel the moment. There is nothing  gained from fighting a losing battle—walk away—don't try for the last word.

In cases where you are less certain of the other's motives, you will have to trust your instincts. How do you feel? Do you feel attacked? Or do you get the feeling that there is more to the discussion than the surface level rhetoric it has presented itself to be?

If you feel that the conversation is more than what it seems, silence is best because it's obvious that you are dealing with a situation where it's difficult for the person to get to the point without meandering around for a bit—although frustrating—it's best to let them get there at their own pace.

Don't scurry the chat to its climax because you've mistakenly pegged it as another round of "what's wrong with you, what's right with me".

On the other hand, don't become the target of a vitriolic attack either. It's okay to defend yourself by saying something productive and pointed—if the situation calls for such honesty. In the end it's simply about being patient with the process and understanding that the outcome should be productive—not painful—if either of you is going to progress. 

Day 21: Testing Your Patience...

Sometimes the person you love the most can get under your skin. It's a privilege they have, born of the simple fact that they either a) have known you for a long time or b) are connected to you by blood.

In either case, they know where to hit you where it hurts when they get good and ready and, despite your best attempts, their daggers are difficult to ignore.

Understanding this point, you begin to realize that there will be situations where you cannot handle things diplomatically and you'll have to find your own way to fight back against the emotional and psychological conflict.

But how do you accomplish such a feat? What can you do that can be equally as effective, and nerve-wrecking as what they are doing to you?...Say nothing.

Be silent. Be Patient. Be still.

Now, I know what you're thinking. It immediately occurs to you that some things need to be addressed, and you are right—they do. However, choose to address them calmly. Don't yell, don't scream, don't trade barbs. Just correct what is wrong, and return to your silent meditation. By doing so, the person loses their target and the conflict loses it's luster.

No one wants to fight alone.

Become a temporary island where irrationality, bitterness, and contempt are not allowed to drop anchor—redirect those things, along with their carriers, to another location. Tell them to return only when they can be more intelligent with what they have to say and, in the meantime, say nothing.

Be silent. Be patient. Be still.

Day Eight: Don't Debate With Idiots...

There's nothing wrong with having an intelligent debate with anyone, just make sure you bring your intelligence with you—ignorance isn't always blissful.

The ignorant love to argue.

They don't do it because they have anything relevant to say but, rather, because they want to feel relevant. Don't give them the satisfaction of, unnecessarily raising your ire. It's not worth it, for one, and it usually won't get you anywhere—for two.

The best thing to do when you're faced with a "debate" with a person who has left his/her intelligence at the door, is to keep walking. However, if you, just for kicks, want to engage in a conversation with a person who has offered an ignorant perspective to an otherwise intelligent round of chit-chat, then check your motivations. Do you, 1) only hope to educate them or 2) feel a need to strut your superior knowledge on a particular topic?

If the answer is number one, then good for you and bless your efforts. No change was ever made without first taking a step into the fire. However, if your motive centers around number two, then it's possible you might be just as ignorant as they are—so check yourself first—no one likes an arrogant S.O.B.