Apathy, Change, and You

Each day is a challenge. I wake up every morning, trying my best to arm myself with whatever mental armor I need, so that I won't be blindsided by negativity. However, the one thing I never account for is the fact that everyone around me will be doing the same thing.

As a society, we've been trained to be skeptical of everything and everyone. We question our leaders, question our laws, and rail against the ways of the world that have led us to this mass chaos that, seemingly, has no end. Yet, none of us is truly willing to take responsibility for the role we might have played in this mechanism. We're, all of us, content to put up our walls or stick our heads in the sand.

Many of us assumed we could leave the important decisions to the more informed, more educated, and more involved segments of society. We stopped paying attention to the signs that signaled something wasn't quite right because we had problems of our own to tend to—let somebody else handle this mess. 

The problem with that attitude is that it's pervasive—it never stops at one person—and a society that mass produces an attitude of apathy isn't one headed in the right direction. You have to stand for something if you ever expect to live a life of purpose.

Read a newspaper, watch the news, seek out the knowledge you need to start making the small steps that can eventually get us all back on the right track.

Be the change you wish to see in the world...isn't that what Ghandi said?

Are you being that change or letting the world change you?

Day 29: Sometimes It's Best To Say Nothing...

Silence is an art. It takes a good bit of restraint to remain silent when everything within you is screaming to say something—anything—that will relieve the frustration and angst that has suddenly been instigated by the words/deeds of another.

The trick in recognizing when silence is best comes with understanding the motivation of the one with whom you are speaking and developing the ability to see beyond the immediate emotionality of the moment.

If the conversation seems prompted by frustration or anger—and you are certain that you have done nothing to cause the discomfort—you can be sure that this episode is one of misdirected anger. In which case, a decision to engage does nothing more than negatively fuel the moment. There is nothing  gained from fighting a losing battle—walk away—don't try for the last word.

In cases where you are less certain of the other's motives, you will have to trust your instincts. How do you feel? Do you feel attacked? Or do you get the feeling that there is more to the discussion than the surface level rhetoric it has presented itself to be?

If you feel that the conversation is more than what it seems, silence is best because it's obvious that you are dealing with a situation where it's difficult for the person to get to the point without meandering around for a bit—although frustrating—it's best to let them get there at their own pace.

Don't scurry the chat to its climax because you've mistakenly pegged it as another round of "what's wrong with you, what's right with me".

On the other hand, don't become the target of a vitriolic attack either. It's okay to defend yourself by saying something productive and pointed—if the situation calls for such honesty. In the end it's simply about being patient with the process and understanding that the outcome should be productive—not painful—if either of you is going to progress. 

Day 21: Testing Your Patience...

Sometimes the person you love the most can get under your skin. It's a privilege they have, born of the simple fact that they either a) have known you for a long time or b) are connected to you by blood.

In either case, they know where to hit you where it hurts when they get good and ready and, despite your best attempts, their daggers are difficult to ignore.

Understanding this point, you begin to realize that there will be situations where you cannot handle things diplomatically and you'll have to find your own way to fight back against the emotional and psychological conflict.

But how do you accomplish such a feat? What can you do that can be equally as effective, and nerve-wrecking as what they are doing to you?...Say nothing.

Be silent. Be Patient. Be still.

Now, I know what you're thinking. It immediately occurs to you that some things need to be addressed, and you are right—they do. However, choose to address them calmly. Don't yell, don't scream, don't trade barbs. Just correct what is wrong, and return to your silent meditation. By doing so, the person loses their target and the conflict loses it's luster.

No one wants to fight alone.

Become a temporary island where irrationality, bitterness, and contempt are not allowed to drop anchor—redirect those things, along with their carriers, to another location. Tell them to return only when they can be more intelligent with what they have to say and, in the meantime, say nothing.

Be silent. Be patient. Be still.