Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

As we get older, we start to over-analyze the choices we've made. Perhaps we feel that one decision, here or there, would have altered the trajectory of our life for the better. Or, maybe we are just feeling sorry for ourselves because the life of this or that person turned out better than our own—jealousy can prompt self-reflection very quickly.

Well, here's what you have to do in those moments: stop being so hard on yourself. You cannot change the past and the only thing dwelling on it will do is make the steps you try to make in the future that much harder to take.

This path you are on is the one you are supposed to be on—even if it seems like a rather difficult one at present—and when you reach the end of your journey, you can expect one of two things to happen: you will either 1) feel grateful for the experience and reposition your life based on what you've come to learn, or you'll 2) let self-doubt and self-pity take over, learn nothing, and remain stuck right where you are.

The roads we travel have many directions, it's up to you to choose the right one.

Day 30: Don't Worry About It...

We worry. It's a part of life that most of us will not escape and one that we have grown accustom to accepting. And, truthfully, that's alright—that's normal.

That said, you have to start understanding that worrying is less about being stressed than it is about being aware that life still has much to teach us—if we are open to learning.

Many of us become so focused on the negative aspects of the actual worrying (i.e. what we don't have, what we can't have, or what we need to have) that we forget that there is more to the act of worrying than meets the eye.

Think about it, it's never so much the worrying that harms us as it is the potential outcome of the thing we're worried about.

"If I don't get this bill paid, I could lose x, y, or z", "If I don't get this job, I don't know what I'll do", or "If I can't pay for my child to do this, I'd hate to see his/her disappointment". All of that is valid, but it's surface and, mostly, outside of our control.

That said, if you dig deeper you'll find that at the very core of our worries is fear. A fear of being a failure. A fear that perhaps your confidence isn't as strong or as solid as you thought it to be.

It's about insecurity and that is something that is fixable if we refocus our attention on the root cause of said feelings.

Now, I'm not saying that all worries can be written off to feeling uncomfortable in our own skin, but I am saying that it's important to examine why that particular something is so bothersome to you—again, find the root cause.

If you can begin to figure that out, you might find a lot less reason to worry at all.






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Day 22: Open Your Mind...

The biggest mistake that many of us make is in believing that our way is the only way to get something done.

Sure, it's wholly possible that you have devised the most efficient, effective, and effortless way to do a particular thing, but that doesn't mean that is the best way for everyone else.

Each of us makes our own way in this world via a path that we set, using the method that's most comfortable for us.

We might take cues from different schools of thought on how we might best accomplish our desired goal but, in the end, we still have to make our own way—and we do.

That said, you have to be willing to allow others to do the same.

Don't force your views, beliefs, or philosophy on another just because you feel they are incapable of being successful without the,—that's not only arrogant, but short-sighted on your part. Be respectful of the process each person needs in order to reach their maximum potential—not yours.

In the end, I'm simply advocating acceptance.

Accept the fact that your way isn't the only way. Allow yourself the opportunity to see things from another perspective, and allow that perspective to be an additional feather in your cap as you continue to evolve, learn, and grow.