Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

As we get older, we start to over-analyze the choices we've made. Perhaps we feel that one decision, here or there, would have altered the trajectory of our life for the better. Or, maybe we are just feeling sorry for ourselves because the life of this or that person turned out better than our own—jealousy can prompt self-reflection very quickly.

Well, here's what you have to do in those moments: stop being so hard on yourself. You cannot change the past and the only thing dwelling on it will do is make the steps you try to make in the future that much harder to take.

This path you are on is the one you are supposed to be on—even if it seems like a rather difficult one at present—and when you reach the end of your journey, you can expect one of two things to happen: you will either 1) feel grateful for the experience and reposition your life based on what you've come to learn, or you'll 2) let self-doubt and self-pity take over, learn nothing, and remain stuck right where you are.

The roads we travel have many directions, it's up to you to choose the right one.

Day Ten: Know Your Dreams...

Do you know what you want out of life? If you don't, it's foolish to expect anyone else to be able to figure it out for you. Know yourself before you decide to become one with another—that can make all the difference.

Too many men and women are running around looking for a partner to define them. They don't feel complete without someone standing by their side telling them how important they are because they are loved.

Well, contrary to what you might have been told, you cannot count on another person to make you feel whole. It's far better to figure out who you are, for yourself, using your own devices, before you place your psyche into the control of another.

See, the trouble with losing yourself into a person is that if that person leaves, you won't know where to find what you have lost. How will you decipher the real you from the one who was attached to the label of girl or boyfriend? Do you know who you are minus your mate?

The question is the same where friendships are concerned. Don't attach your identity to the clique you claim or the social group you represent. You have to know who you are before you enter into a relationship, of any kind, with anybody. If you don't, you aren't doing yourself or those who wish to claim you, any favors.

Spend some time, alone, finding out exactly who you are now and who you want to be—get secure in that—and then take the steps to find the people who most compliment those ideals.

Day Six: Money Isn't Everything...

At some point, your life will become less about what's pricey, than it is about what's priceless. Be sure to save the best parts of you for the moment when that happens.

People are far too obsessed with labels these days. It's all about whose name your wearing: If it's not (insert latest designer name here), then it's garbage. Or, if you're still wearing shoes by so and so, then you need to get caught up.

Well, my philosophy has always been, if it feels good, looks good, and the price is right, then I'm all over it—but I realize I'm in the minority. The point is, trends change. What was hot a year ago is not likely as hot now and chasing after what's "in" is bound to drive you crazy at some point.

You have to begin to understand the part of you that isn't obsessed or concerned about the materials you possess. You have to become cognizant that, in order to grow, you have to be deeper than the surface.

Why?

Well, believe it or not, at some point material things will play a secondary role in your life.  You'll want more for yourself than just a nod of approval from your "crew". You'll want to know that you are respected—no matter who you're wearing—because you are a person of quality and dignity.

Am I saying that there's something evil or wrong with wearing designer clothing? Absolutely not. But, when you take those labels and make them a criteria for judging the worth of yourself or others, then that's a problem.

It may sound cheesy but, in the long term, what do you want people to say about you when you're gone: that you were a great dresser or you were a great person?

Think about it.