I'm Almost There...

The hardest thing I ever did was to allow myself to feel beautiful. No, I'm not kidding.

Believe it or not, at least for me, it used to be difficult to look in the mirror on a daily basis and tell myself that I was every bit as gorgeous as the woman on the cover of the magazine, the starlet playing opposite her leading man, or the young lady at the local grocery store who's every bit as elegant as Audrey Hepburn.

But here's the thing I finally realized about physical beauty—and trust me it's a simple concept for me  to have glossed over—it's not in the eye of the beholder, nor is it defined by what society wants you to think it is (i.e. those women on the cover of Elle or Vanity Fair), but it is in fact a characteristic with absolutely no definition.

It was after the above epiphany that I began to understand that my personal quest to be beautiful will not be something I find in any mirror, but rather something I have spent far too much time concerning myself with because, in the end, it's irrelevant.

My face, my body, etc. are filled with little imperfections that I can't Photoshop or crop out, but those imperfections are unique to me. So I can either a) live with them and accentuate the parts that actually matter or b) allow my need to nitpick at said imperfections to lead me away from cultivating the parts of me that will be the most beneficial in the long run.

For the record, I chose to focus on the latter.

And even though I confess fully that my obsession with being fit caters a bit to that remaining vanity, I am okay with that because it also emphasizes to my daughter and son just how important it is to keep your body the temple God made it to be. 

In the end, I know that this is me...on my best day:

And I'm okay with that.

Judging eyes be damned.

Starting With The Woman In The Mirror

There was a time when I "hated on" the pretty girls. I freely admit this fact because I'm old enough now to see how unnecessary and unproductive that emotion was for me.

Some of you may know, if you've read this site before, that I grew up in a single-parent home where my mother often worked two, sometimes three, jobs to make ends meet. And though she made sure I never wanted for anything, I always looked at the other more privileged girls in high school and college and felt like I could never compete with their beauty or sense of style.

As a result of that insecurity, the early seeds of my need to exercise were planted because I figured what I lacked in beauty, I could make up for in body, and that would allow me to "compete" with those girls a bit more.

Don't even ask what stilted level of logic it took for me to believe that nonsense because even as I typed it I was shaking my head.

Nowadays, though, when I see beautifully fit women—especially those in the non-airbrushed real world—who have managed to remain absolutely stunning through marriage, pregnancy, stress, etc., I applaud them because I know how much hard work it requires to remain true to any sort of regimen when life is throwing so many responsibilities your way.

And while I still compare myself to other women, I can't lie,—I mean it's the nature of the beast to look at another gorgeous woman and say 'wow, I still have work to do',—my reaction to them is less about an insecurity than it is an acknowledgement that there is always another level for me to meet.

In short, I don't bother with the catty, sneering, unnecessary behavior that so many others often feel the need to convey by chopping down other women and accusing them of "thinking they're all that". It's unproductive and would only serve as interference to my personal fitness goals.

We are all uniquely striving for something more than the mirror reflects and if we're doing it the right way, there won't be a need to wonder what everyone else is thinking because that won't matter. If nothing else, stick to you plan and keeping doing you. And let the progress you make be a form of motivation for that woman who's likely watching you and wondering where her next level might be because, trust me, there will always be someone watching.

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• Aging gracefully (maryaofalltrades.wordpress.com)
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There's A Difference Between "Keeping It Real" and Being Real

Most of us don't know who we truly are and we often have trouble separating our true self from the   facade we show to the world.

Of course many of us don't acknowledge the fact that we wear a mask on a daily basis. We just like to assume that we are "keeping it real"—it's everyone else that's being phony.

Well, here's a perfect test for those of you who subscribe to the latter point: think of a topic that interests you. Ponder the ins and outs of that topic for as long you deem necessary to espouse an intelligent opinion. Once you've done so, ask yourself what part of that opinion is based on your own knowledge, and what part of it is based on the knowledge you've absorbed from the sources around you. 

If you find that most of what you believe is built on an article you read, a talk show you heard, or a speaker you've listened to, then you aren't as "real" as you might think.

The natural response to this is to say we are all going to be guilty of doing that. After all, most of us are just a conglomeration of our experiences and social interactions. It's impossible not to be influenced or shaped by external factors in our environment. 

That's true, and in no way do I expect that this world will house a human being who hasn't been touched or influenced by something he/she read, did, or experienced. That's the way we become who we are—through experiencing this life as an observer.

However, you have to begin investigating and researching matters on your own, as well. You have to start realizing that regurgitating the philosophies of another doesn't make you sound intelligent, it makes you look misinformed.

In as much as you are an observer, you should also be an experimenter. Your belief system should be a result of what YOU know for sure and not what you've heard from the majority. Walk your own path, formulate your own opinions, and become your own person.

There are enough people out there "keeping it real", strive to be a part of the group that's just being real.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day Eight: Don't Debate With Idiots...

There's nothing wrong with having an intelligent debate with anyone, just make sure you bring your intelligence with you—ignorance isn't always blissful.

The ignorant love to argue.

They don't do it because they have anything relevant to say but, rather, because they want to feel relevant. Don't give them the satisfaction of, unnecessarily raising your ire. It's not worth it, for one, and it usually won't get you anywhere—for two.

The best thing to do when you're faced with a "debate" with a person who has left his/her intelligence at the door, is to keep walking. However, if you, just for kicks, want to engage in a conversation with a person who has offered an ignorant perspective to an otherwise intelligent round of chit-chat, then check your motivations. Do you, 1) only hope to educate them or 2) feel a need to strut your superior knowledge on a particular topic?

If the answer is number one, then good for you and bless your efforts. No change was ever made without first taking a step into the fire. However, if your motive centers around number two, then it's possible you might be just as ignorant as they are—so check yourself first—no one likes an arrogant S.O.B.