Day 26: Moving On...

Love can be painful. It's not intended to be such, but when you allow a person into your heart and mind long enough, they become intimately knowledgeable about all the things that make you tick—if they're paying even a modicum of attention. And, when it becomes clear that your relationship is over, they have the ability to push those buttons—if they choose—and make a tough situation more difficult to bear.

Keeping that in mind, it's up to you to decide the type of person you wish to be when it comes time to release yourself from a relationship.

Do you want to be the mature, respectable, adult who takes the high-road and refuses to stoop to their level? Or do you want to embroil yourself in an emotional war where, quite frankly, everyone loses?

The decision can be tougher to make than some think because, while it's easy to have someone tell you to be the bigger person, no one can possibly understand what you're going through. None can say for sure that they would do things differently because they aren't standing in your shoes—these are your decisions, based on your experiences, and no one should feel fit to judge you for how you handle your pain.

However, in attempting to move forward, you have to become aware of when your desire to hurt said person overcomes your desire to heal—if you can't heal, you can't move on.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is allow the healing process to happen—however it happens. If that means you give yourself a 6-month pity party—go ahead. Love is not something that goes away simply because the person does. You are mourning the death of a relationship that, at some point, meant everything to you.

You deserve time to come to grips with that fact. Even still, don't place yourself in wreckless situations that could possibly lead to regrets later.

Own your pain, find a way to mend your heart, and trust in the possibilities that lie ahead—your life is not over—and, eventually, you will be fine.

Day 25: Find Your Fight...

Most people are content to admit that they are defeated. Believe it or not, it's easier to give up than it is to say, "you know what, no matter what happens here, I'm all-in ". No we, as human beings, feel the easier way is to disappear and accept that we are not strong enough to win.

In truth, there is fight in all of us.

While some of us may not know our strengths yet, we do understand our weaknesses well enough to not leave them exposed. We know where our deepest fears lay, and it is that understanding that keeps us from putting ourselves out there to rise up against the challenges and conflicts that life sets in our path.

That said, it's important to realize that inaction is as dangerous as action.

If you allow yourself to fall prey to circumstance, you will never break free from the negativity or the misery that surrounds you. It's important that you always remember that you have the option of fighting—always.

Never allow the fears fed to you by self-doubt keep you from making progress. Find that lion inside your heart and make it roar. Make it roar loud enough that everyone can hear you—show this world just how strong you truly are.

Day 24: Your Worth Is Infinite...

If you work hard, and live right, there is always a part of you that is looking to be rewarded for giving your maximum effort. And, while the payoff may not always arrive in the form you most desire, you should not be negatively viewed for expecting some amount of acknowledgment for what you've done.

The problem with most of us is we feel like we don't have the right to expect a "thank you" or a "nice job" in return for being generous with our time, but we couldn't be more wrong.

When you give of yourself, particularly when you do so at the expense of the time you might otherwise spend with family, friends, or in self-enhancement, you are elevating that person or cause to first priority; thereby sending a message that they/their cause is important to you—there is both honor and sacrifice in doing such.

For that alone, you deserve to be recognized and, in accepting that recognition, you need to feel confident that you aren't being self-centered or selfish, but rather understanding that your actions are worthy of praise—even if it's minor in nature.

To be clear, I am in not saying you should walk around expecting pats on the back or statues erected in your honor.  Humility is still expected, and no charitable act should be taken solely for the purpose of receiving an accolade.

However, if you are giving all the time, without ever receiving anything in return—even if it's only a "thank you"—then there is something wrong and, at some point, you could grow to resent the person or cause that you are devoting your efforts towards because you feel your sacrifices aren't being appreciated or considered.

Own your compassion in such a way that you never allow your kindness to be the button others are allowed to press for personal gain because while your worth is infinite, your time is short, and you should never let anyone use your time to such a degree that you feel worthless.

Day 23: You Can Do Bad All By Yourself...

There are a high-percentage of miserable people in this world who have one goal: to make your life miserable too.

They don't appreciate seeing you happy, accomplished, blessed, or ambitious. No, it's far easier and more satisfying to them if you fall flat on your face—a complete and utter failure.

Those kinds of people are better left in a boat, sailing alone, in an endless river—towards oblivion. Well, maybe not oblivion, but they definitely should not be allowed to be a functional part of your daily life because they, ultimately, serve no purpose.

While it's easy to understand the nature of a person who is willing to try and build a relationship with such a character—even Judas had friends—it's not smart for your soul. You cannot rely on that subtle instinct within you that says you can be the difference. You can make this person into a better man/woman simply by not giving up on them—showing them they too are worthy of greatness and love.

That's silly. Your job isn't to save them, it's to enhance your life in the best way you can and, chances are, that journey won't go very far if you continue pulling the 500 pound anchor that is negativity and resentment around with you. Let that person evolve by his or herself and not at the expense of your growth.

Now, if said individual resides in close proximity to you, let's say it's your friend, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, life-partner, or what have you, start asking yourself what Y-O-U are getting from an association that's so emotionally stalling—why do you feel you need to have this person in your life?
What purpose do they serve?

If their only function is in making you feel like, by comparison, you are much better person than they—shame on you. However, if they serve no purpose other than to drain you emotionally, physically, and psychologically, then why have them in your life?

Misery can be attained without help...don't waste your life giving it company.

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