Sunday Soundcheck: Cigarettes and Coffee

Otis Redding made it into my mother's rotation a lot, and if you think back on movies you've seen over the years, his catalog is laced throughout so many classic movies: "Love Man" and "These Arms of Mine" were showcased in Dirty Dancing. "Try A Little Tenderness" was featured in grand fashion in the 80's blockbuster Pretty In Pink, and "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay" has been in more films than I can name.

Otis was a staple of 60's soul music and he died far too soon.

The thing I love so much about him is how he made you feel when he sang, his music touched you at the very base of your soul.  You just knew he was in love with every lyric and he wanted you to be in love with it too. He was a phenomenal artist, with a talent unmatched, and his influence in R&B music is undeniable.

Although I had tons of Otis to choose from, I chose the following track because when I first heard it a few years back, in a movie no less, I had never heard it before and it struck a definite chord. I just knew it had to be a part of my collection!

It's both beautiful and haunting in it's delivery and message as he pours his heart out to his woman—a woman who has yet to make the decision whether or not she wants to be his love for a lifetime. So, he's stating his case to her over "Cigarettes and Coffee".

Love it. Love it. LOVE! IT!

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Dinner and a Movie: 10 Great Movies You Both Can Enjoy

My husband and I don't get out as much as we'd like due to his busy work schedule and my endless 'to do' list. It's not that we don't like spending gobs of time together, because we certainly do, but the life we lead doesn't always allow for trips to the movies, or out for dinner, on a regular basis. So, we've both come to appreciate the creature comforts afforded us by simply staying at home, snuggled up on the sofa, watching whatever DVD catches our fancy.

Our tastes are different; he tends to enjoy action/comedy more than romance, but we have been lucky to strike gold on a few of our joint choices—the list is a mix of both recent and older films, but all are available on DVD right now. 

1. "No Strings Attached": I was skeptical about seeing this movie for one reason—Ashton Kutcher. It's not that I don't like him, but he doesn't always give you that leading man vibe, ya know? That said, he did a fine job playing this role. The chemistry was great, the story was funny, and the hubby and I both enjoyed it! However, I must admit, "Friends With Benefits" does a much better job of covering the topic of friends who do more than be, ahem, friendly.

2. "Serendipity": John Cusack has truly done it all at this point, hasn't he? In this movie, he and Kate Beckinsale do the forbidden dance of time and, in the process, make you rethink the definition of "soul mates". This movie always makes me giddy on the inside because I'm a sucker for couples who are "made for each other".

3. "Talladega Nights": Come on, who doesn't like a good comedy every now and then? Will Ferrell is hilarious as 'Ricky Bobby' and it's impossible for me to watch this movie from start to finish without busting a gut!

4. "The Lincoln Lawyer": I don't like movies that are violent for the sake of being violent, but I do enjoy a good thriller every now and then, and this movie starring Ryan Phillipe and Matthew McConaughey was a brilliant surprise from start to finish.

5. "The Town": Ben Affleck did a terrific job in this one—a movie he both co-wrote and directed—as a bank robber who suddenly discovers that his love for another has made his way of life seem more like a prison than a payoff. It's not action-packed, but it is well directed and excellently written, in my opinion.

6. "Inception": This definitely qualifies as a head-scratcher, but I think Christopher Nolan is an absolutely brilliant storyteller/director and this flick does not disappoint—even if it does leave you wondering what the heck is going on?

7. "Taken": Who can't get behind a guy who's willing to tear the world apart just to get to his baby girl. Don't mess with Liam Neeson's character in this one, he's definitely not the kind of guy you wish to see upset.

8. "The Holiday": Okay, I'll admit, this one was much more enjoyed by me than the hubby, but I love stories about love—particularly when it shows up in the most unlikely of places. And even better, it's got Kate Winslet who, in my opinion, is one of the best actresses of this generation.

9. "Just Wright": Queen Latifah always comes across as this bigger than life figure on screen, but her characters are always guaranteed to make you laugh. In this one, she plays the role of a physical therapist who is looking for love, but never seems lucky to get more than friendship. Finally, just when it seems she might win the heart of her prince charming, her beautiful little sister cuts in and steals away his heart—or does she?

10. "True Grit": A surprisingly good movie, at least to me. I don't tend to like westerns, but the performances in this one—particularly that of Hailee Steinfeld—make this one a must-see. I enjoyed the story, while the hubby felt Jeff Bridges was one very cool character. 


Well, those are some of our faves, what are some of yours?

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Thoughts On Love and Becoming Whole

The beauty of the human heart lay in its capacity to love without end and be loved in return.

I made the decision to attend graduate school closer to my hometown and I did so, in many ways, to save a relationship that was going nowhere.

Now, I know what you're thinking, she was one of those girls. You know the type I'm referring to: the one who would drop everything for a guy.

Well, the answer to that is yes and no.

I spent four years attending school in Iowa—at a school more than 1200 miles away—just to get away from said guy. However, it's difficult to stop loving a person until you truly understand that real love is not meant to be unrequited, painful, or difficult to sustain on a daily basis.

While I understood those things, in theory, I didn't yet have the strength or confidence to use that understanding to break away from the relationship.

In short, I was a girl who needed fixing.

So, one day as I sat alone on my mother's front porch—stood up yet again by this guy I "loved" so much—I said a prayer. I asked God, very simply, to send me the man who would be for me in all ways. I decided I wanted more out of love and life than I was getting from this guy who wasn't yet ready for what I was willing to give to him.

I wanted more not only for me, but for my future children as well.  And, more importantly, I  understood I was worth that and then some.

Often times in life, as we struggle to become the picture perfect version of what the world considers successful, or pretty, or acceptable, we stop remembering to check our inner compass to make sure our spirits are headed in the right direction.

We are far more than a conglomeration of our accomplishments, and are likely filled with exceedingly more depth and character than anyone can assess in a 15 minute conversation. So, as you navigate your way through this world, it's always important to remember who you were before you made that first step towards letting the world know you. What did you stand for? What did you believe? What were you willing to accept?

Don't let another persons definition of those things define the individual you become, and never allow yourself to be redefined in such a way that you lose the very essence of what made you so uniquely wonderful in the first place.

I remembered sitting on my mothers porch that day that, first and foremost, I am a child of God and He would not have approved of the woman I was becoming; the kind of woman who had belittled herself so much that she didn't know how deserving she was of all the things He wanted her to have.

After that day, I began to feel the traces of doubt, fear, and indecision leave and that allowed me to open my heart to love...a real love.

I never worried about that guy again because I trusted that God would bring me someone infinitely better, and he did. I was blessed with a man who was more than any dream or fairytale could have predicted.

We'll celebrate our 14th year together this October.

It doesn't matter who you are, what religious principles you subscribe to, or what philosophy you choose to lead your life by, we are all touched and molded by love. In the end the most important thing to remember is to be open to a love that doesn't attempt to change who you are, but rather makes the person you already are better.

My Baby Girl Starts Pre-K This Year

My daily exercise mantra is simple: get it done.

As you already know, I don't usually care how one gets their 60-minutes of activity in, so long as they get it in before the stroke of midnight. Personally, I have been known to barrel into yoga as late as 11:00 because that's what was possible for me on that day—again, get it done. However, one of the more important things to focus on when considering your routine is your mindset pre, during, and post.

I can't tell you how many times last week I just wasn't "feeling it". I pushed through several workouts simply because I wanted to remain true to my goals, but I wasn't giving them as much effort as I normally might have because I was distracted by so many other things, not the least of which being the start of the new school year.

My baby girl will start Pre-K this year and it will be the first time in more than six years that I will face a day where I won't have either child at my feet from waking to sleeping. That will take some adjusting to, and as the weeks have now dwindled to days—school starts on August 4 here—I find that I want to spend more time preparing myself mentally and physically (imagine the emotions I'll feel seeing my baby totter off to her first day of school) for that all-important "first day", and less time focusing on my waistline.

I have already brought in reinforcements for week one as I believe I will be a complete wreck of a mother.

Each of us will face a moment where we will need to tweak our approach to whatever it is we've prioritized as necessary in our lives. I can attest to the fact that plans are made simply, but even the best laid plans are prone to disruption.

I took the emotional road block I hit in my workouts last week as a sign that I needed to take a moment to ingest how important these last days will be for both myself and my children—my daughter especially—because it will be an adjustment for all of us.

The secret to a life well-lived, in my humble opinion, is not only focusing on your physical health, but your mental and emotional health as well. The one simply does not work without the other and you have to listen carefully to the subtle promptings that often will tell you when you need to refocus your energy elsewhere, if you hope to reap the benefits as a whole.

There Is A Difference Between Being Silent and Being Stifled

"In the end we are all separate: our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities, but it is our differences we must learn to respect."

There are so many times when each of us feels a need to stay within the boundaries of conformity because we don't wish to offend or challenge the sensibilities of another.

It's safer to say nothing or silently disagree with those who forcefully offer us their opinion because we don't see or feel a need to fight. However, there is a difference between being silent and being stifled.

Your thoughts and opinions are every bit as important as those around you, and you must not allow yourself to be silenced just because your opinion does not meet with majority approval; thereby causing tension.

God created man in His image, but he never said that every man would be, think, or live in a like-minded way—he gave all of us free agency—we were meant to be individualistic in thought and action.

A few weeks back I got into a conversation with an Atheist who simply refused to understand why I held a belief in God. I stated my beliefs clearly, but the individual persisted and, at some points, rudely insinuated that this belief made me less intelligent. I politely disagreed and let them know that their opinion is their opinion, but I no longer felt a need to defend my truth to a person who wasn't willing to respect it.

This world is divisive in its makeup due to the presence of different religions, socio-economic statuses, political leanings, ethnicities, and races. None of us have exactly the same experiences in this life, so none of us will agree with everything each other has to say. That said, the most important thing to remember is to always respect others opinions, and expect the same of them for yourself.

Their voice is no more or less important than yours. Don't ever be afraid to be heard.

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Sunday Soundcheck: Jill Scott Makes Me Happy

I've decided to try something new on the blog, and since my audience at this point is still trying to find me here at "Living Fit Mommy", I can do so without too much hesitation.

So, here's the plan, every Sunday I will introduce you to an artist who often makes it into my music rotation. I literally listen to any and everything—both with and without a parental advisory label—so a bit of every genre is likely to make it onto this site.

Jill Scott makes it into the inaugural post of "Sunday Soundcheck" because she is by far one of the most underrated, talented, and inspiring artists on the Neo-Soul scene today. I love her voice, her sensual delivery, and her attention to the subtle nuances within each lyric that helps to transform her music from simply song to ethereal experience.

I was first introduced to Jill in late 2000 when I heard "Love Rain" playing on the radio, that one song made me jet to the Blockbuster Music store (remember when Blockbuster actually sold music too?) and buy the CD. I never regretted that decision and I have been a die-hard fan ever since.

She recently released her fourth studio album "The Light Of The Sun", an album that sounds like it was meant to played in a jazz lounge. It's filled with Jill's signature scatting and poetic verse, but it also has some of the sexiest beats this side of heaven.

Choosing one Jill Scott song to place here is difficult, as they are all wonderful, but here are two of my favorites—one old, one new.

"So Gone" from The Light of the Sun (2011)



"He Loves Me (Lyzel In E Flat) from Who Is Jill Scott? (Words and Sounds Vol. 1)

Dinner and a Movie: A Long Overdue Date Night

So it's date night with the hubby tomorrow and I'm hoping to take great advantage of acting my own age for a few hours while the grandmother watches the kiddies. It's a rare occasion the hubby and I get out and enjoy the world without the constant interruption of potty breaks, opinions on the world, or lot and lots of unnecessary noise just because it's fun to be loud—love my babies, but their a bit like wound up jack-in-the boxes that keep popping up...long after you've stopping turning the crank.

That said, I'm trying to decide on a movie for us to see—"Friends With Benefits" and  "Captain America" have made the final cut for this week. The decision will be up to me totally as the hubby cannot be trusted to pick movies out ever.

I love my man dearly but he, seriously, could watch paint dry and be entertained—I'm not kidding. And it's not that he's easy to entertain, he's just not real fussy about such things. He'll go with the flow and figure there's something interesting to be gleaned from just about anything you set your eyes upon. Me, on the other hand, I'm a bit more snobby where movies are concerned.

I've literally traversed the AFI Top 100 for movies I have not seen, and often look for obscure titles in the Indie section just because I don't want to miss anything good. Oh, and don't even get me started on music. I rarely bother listening to the radio because I've come to the conclusion that most anything worth listening too won't find it's way into the mainstream—ever.

That said, I still enjoy any opportunity I have to enjoy the hubby all to myself as the times are rare.

So, today can be considered a break from the norm (deep, brooding, posts about life or being healthy) in order to prepare to have a little fun with my man. Although, dinner will be tricky with my adhering so closely to my regimen. Well, there's always salad!

Here's a preview of both movies just for kicks. Happy Friday!


"Friends With Benefits"




"Captain America"

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Exercise: Just Do It, The "When" Doesn't Matter

I'm a busy woman. As most of you who read here regularly already know, I am the mother of two children aged six and four, and though I love them dearly, they command a great deal of time. So, where exercise is concerned, I have to be creative about not only the where, but the when so that I don't get stuck skipping or abandoning my plan altogether.

Over the years I've heard many experts say it's best to work out in the morning, get that metabolism going, but most people tend to prefer the later part of the day because it works better for their schedule.  I used to subscribe to the latter for that very reason, but now I realize that the when doesn't make a difference, particularly if the alternative is to do nothing at all.

Flexibility can be one of the most important elements of your exercise regimen, so don't get too obsessive about doing it at a set time every day. Think about it, what happens when you can't fit in a workout at the time you've set aside due to some other commitment? I'll tell you what normally happens, most people end up skipping their routine altogether—and how is that a better option? 

I recognize that my life is one that has no true continuity in the sense that from day-to-day my familial and professional obligations can be different. Understanding that, I know that some days may see a morning workout while others may see an evening one, and that's okay as long as I'm continuing to stick to a plan.

Don't get me wrong, scheduling time is not a bad idea, particularly if you know what your schedule will, but if you don't, you need to allow yourself the option of fitting in your routine when you can.

Flexibility is key, so keep your options open.

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You Are The Only One You Will Never Lose

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."—Jo Coudert

Most of us spend our time cultivating and growing into individuals who can eventually be a good match for someone else, yet we never truly understand or try to do what's necessary to be acceptable to ourselves. 

It's important to remember that you are your own worst enemy, and as such you know your weaknesses as well as your strengths. With that knowledge you can either plant the positive seeds of love, which can turn into a greater sense of purpose for both who you are and what you are becoming, or you can nourish the negative seeds that have the capacity to lead you down the long, hard path of self-doubt and internal turmoil.

None of us needs to be useless to another, misery can be it's own company, however, imagine how much less inviting your world would truly be if that inescapable force of unhappiness was you.

Recalling The Best Thing I Never Had

I recently became enamored of a song by Beyonce entitled, "The Best Thing I Never Had". The gist of the song is she dodged a bullet by not staying with the guy she thought was everything, but who treated her like she was nothing. It's both funny and poignant because it gives you a new way of looking at a relationship that was likely doomed from the start.

I spent a number of years in a bad relationship myself. I was young, in high school, and didn't know much about love except what I saw in movies. I suspect my ex didn't know much either, but he seemed to know just as little about being a decent human being as he often treated me with little respect.

That said, it was my responsibility to love and respect myself enough that his behavior should have been unacceptable to me. I take full responsibility for my role in enabling him to be the person he was where I was concerned and I don't regret the lessons I learned from that pain.

Years later, I look back on that experience of "first love" as one of necessity.

I spent a long time pining and hoping he would make a change before I finally realized that it was me who needed to do the changing. Once I did, I was able to open my heart to other possibilities and, soon after, love found me.

We are all tested in our relationships and none of us truly knows what our hearts are capable of until we stop accepting the unacceptable. Take time to figure out what you want from love before you give your heart away.

Trust me, it's worth the wait.


Beyonce's Latest, "Best Thing I Never Had" by NewsLook




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Perspective

Perspective is something we all have, yet we all house it differently based on our experiences.

I finished reading "The Help" yesterday, and one of the things that stood out to me the most was how differently each character viewed their particular place in their community—a community they lived in "together". It was a striking testament on how people can live in the same place, but not necessarily "be" in the same place.

Of course for many that point is obvious. I mean, it's understood that we are all living lives filled with different experiences, expectations, and opportunities. And while some of us are blessed to hit the social, economic, and environmental jackpot, there are just as many of us who end up on the extreme opposite of that spectrum—or dangling someplace lodged hopelessly in the middle.

Each of us is destined to make an impact one way or another. The force of that impact is up to us as individuals. You will either be the person who is railing against the atrocity and unfairness of life, or the one who takes a bad situation and finds a way to make it good. Either way, you are making a decision to use your perspective to guide you.

That said, it's important to re-evaluate your perspective every now and then, see if you are allowing yourself the chance to explore matters on a deeper level as opposed to being influenced by external factors. You have to be willing to research and educate yourself on the issues you hold close—no matter how mundane or unimportant they might seem.

Your perspective is something that can be of great value to you as you continue to discover the world around you, but do not ever make the mistake of becoming so set in your ways that the only perspective you're willing to accept is your own.

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I've Decided to Make My Kid's Lunches This Year

I've decided to bite the bullet and fix my kids' lunches this year. It wasn't a tough decision, honestly, as my oldest son made it clear to me that he no longer wished to eat what his school had to offer ever again—and he was only halfway through kindergarten at the time!

Keeping that in mind, it wasn't so much an issue of whether or not to make his lunch—or that of my daughter who will join him at the primary school this year—but how to do so successfully for 180 days. It's not that I'm unfamiliar with creating lunches. I've prepared lunches for the husband for years as a cost-saving measure. However, his access to a microwave made leftovers a more viable option for packing lunches. My kids won't have that option, thereby placing a greater emphasis on my own personal creativity.

So, last week I started researching different food storage containers and soliciting opinions of both mommy bloggers I know as well as personal friends on Facebook who have been doing so for a while now. And, with their knowledge firmly in hand, I started purchasing a few items to start the year.

Back when I was in school, there were sandwich bags and thermos containers—no Foogo jars, no stay cool sacks, no BPA approved sandwich/snack containers—so the plethora of choices was both exciting and intimidating. However, I knew I managed to get what I needed without breaking the bank.

I have tried to be fair to my kids where food is concerned so while I personally am incorporating a more vegetarian diet, I focus on giving them healthy options that are both meat and non-meat based. Some parents may not agree with that approach, but I feel it works for my family as I can tell you my husband is nowhere near ready nor willing to forsake meat in his weekly diet.

That said, this year of preparing lunches for my kids offers a great opportunity for me to introduce them to some new foods and, hopefully, this will grant them a better knowledge of what different flavors, textures, and types of foods exist in this world. They get a sense of that at home, but researching lunch menus has made it clear to me that I may need to expand my knowledge base a bit more as well.

This should be fun.

Discipline is the Key to Everything

At the beginning of my healthy-living journey, I counted calories. It didn't matter where the calories originated—fruit or vegetable, packaged or not, juice or water—I counted it, and held tightly to my regimen. I even made sure to account for calories lost through exercise as I knew that was key in maintaining a healthy diet.

After a few months of doing things in this manner, I figured I was ready to abandon my calorie-counting ways. I figured I was aware enough of what I was eating to not slip into bad habits or revert to the bad eating habits that were once so prevalent in my life.

However, the problem with not being accountable to yourself is that you often feel perfectly justified in doing whatever you please. As a result of my releasing myself from accountability in this area of my life, I found that my food intake, while healthy, stopped being nutritionally meaningful. I started missing out on key nutrients in my day-to-day meals because I didn't have an electronic representation of how I was doing on whatever day.

As I've often stated, it's important to get the most out of what you eat by staying as close to the recommended daily allowances (RDA) as possible where things like fiber, protein, calcium, etc. are concerned. A well-balanced diet ensures a healthier overall you. So, needless to say, I returned to counting calories again because I don't yet have the discipline to do it on my own and I don't want to see all the progress I have made go to waste. 

Each of us, on our road to physical and mental wellness will find that we have to make adjustments. and we'll see that sometimes it's necessary to go back to the beginning of things in order to reach a better end. It's important that you know there's nothing wrong with doing either one of those things in the name of self-enhancement.

Don't be afraid to re-evaluate your goals every now and then, if only to find out if you've gotten off track somewhere,  no one's keeping score, so don't worry about your pace. Run YOUR race and you'll find that the outcome is far better than you imagined. 

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Let Your Fear Serve You

Fear is considered an inconvenience. We don't like being afraid of anything or anyone because we interpret that feeling as a weakness within ourselves. However, fear is actually a state of being that serves us in a way that surpasses that of any one moment, because it has the ability to make us more intelligent in the choices we make as a result.

For example, on the simplest level, my fear of being unhealthy and, thereby, unable to do the types of things that make the lives of my children and husband more fulfilling, is the driving force behind my dedication to my overall health. I take the steps to both eat right and exercise on a regular basis because I understand the consequences of my inaction would far outweigh any of the potential positives.

In that way, my fear serves me well and I appreciate its presence.

On a deeper level, your fear of not living a life of purpose, grace, or profitability encourages your desire to work hard, be cognizant of the way you treat others, and pay closer attention to the choices you make in both your education and your career so that you don't find yourself on the negative end of life.

You have to allow those feelings of ill ease to play their role in helping you make careful decisions about what you wish to do in life. Don't look at your fear as an inconvenience or a burden, but rather as a tool to help you overcome a difficult situation with more intelligence and focus than you might have otherwise.