A Lovely Blogger Award

Last week I was honored to receive the "One Lovely Blog Award" from fellow blogger and friend, Ally, over at Copacetic In Carolina. I was both honored and excited about the opportunity to receive such an award and am just now getting around to repaying the favor by not only saying 'thank you' to Ally via a link back, but also pointing out a few blogs also deserving of a little "love" in return.

Now, the rules of the award are quite simple:

1) Link back to the party who besotted you with said award.

2) Complete the form below.

3) Share 7 random things about yourself.

4) Award 15 bloggers this award and let them know you've awarded them.

Easy, right?

Well, lets dig in:

Form:

• Name your favorite color: Lavender
• Name your favorite song: There are so many, but I'm a big Otis Redding fan and "Cigarettes and Coffee" is right up there with "Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay"
• Name your favorite dessert: I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I'm a sucker for banana nut bread.
• What ticks you off: Inconsiderate, ungrateful, and apathetic individuals. Oh, and people who use the self-checkout lane to buy a cart full of groceries—so rude. 
• When you're upset you: exercise or do yoga
• Your favorite pet: don't have one
• Black or White: Black
• Your biggest fear: not being around to watch my children grow
• Best feature: Not sure.
• Everyday attitude: Blessed
• What is perfection: My little girl's smile and my son's heart.

• Guilty pleasure: "House Hunters", I have no idea why I get such a kick out of watching people look for their home.

 7 Random Things:

• I don't drink caffeine. 
• I don't like sweet potato pie or sweet tea—yes, I still consider myself Southern ;)
• My husband and I met after I decided to stop and talk to the handsome fellow who had been waving at me on my way home everyday. It was upon my stopping that he let me in on the secret that he had purposely been placing himself in that particular area (he worked for the university at that time)—I often took the same route home everyday—just on the off chance that he might see me. 
• I'm very sarcastic.
• Although I now operate a blog site that is solely dedicated to the sport of college football, I didn't follow the sport until I became a student at UGA in 1998. 
• I went to undergraduate school in Iowa.
• I'm pondering writing a book.

Okay, enough about me, on to the best part of this award—recognizing other great blogs:

• its a full nest
• cheap, healthy, good
• nycitymama
• The Angry Black Woman
• Happy Herbivore
• silentleaves
• Atoms of Thought
• Learn More Everyday
• Girl On The Contrary
• Real Southern Men
• Wide Lawns
• Overheard in New York
• Dixie Caviar
• Eat, Live, Run
• smitten kitchen

Sunday Soundcheck: I Don't Want Nobody Always Sittin' Around Me And My Man

Aretha Franklin.

Do I really need to say anything more than that name on this week's version of Sunday Soundcheck?  She's the Queen of Soul and there are no comparisons or substitutions that can be made to adequately do her any justice.

Aretha is where I go when I really want to relax into my womanhood and remember just what confidence, power, and assertion sounds like in it's musical form. There's not a song that doesn't speak to me in a deep way, from "Dr. Feelgood", a song about her obsession and dedication to her man. A man that has her heart and sensuality so much in his possession that she wants to keep him to herself wholly—he's the remedy to her heart and soul.

Whoo! Who can't identify with feeling that type of passion, infatuation, or whatever you wish to call it, for the object of their affection?

Aretha keeps it real in her music and her voice is something sent straight from the heavens—no extra production needed and auto-tune need not apply.

Ladies and Gentleman, Ms. Aretha Franklin:

"Dr. Feelgood (Love is a Serious Business)

"A Rose is Still A Rose" ft. Lauryn Hill

I Will Try To Fix You

Building a relationship is difficult. It's particularly difficult when you've been burned because you're no longer able to trust as easily as you once did and, as a result, you close yourself off. Why? Well, that's simple, you don't want to be hurt again, but it's the layers beneath that which makes it so hard to accept love in your world again.

Once you've been hurt, you are forced to rediscover yourself within this new persona—this persona of a person who has been hurt and left scarred by another—and then you have to decide if the new person you've become is ready to do it all over again with someone else.

Most people reach for the natural defense mechanism of putting up a wall as high as the one they built at Jericho and saying, 'okay, if you want in, then let me see you knock these walls down', only then are they willing to give this potential love interest the opportunity to have an honest conversation with them about what they want and how much they are willing to give in return.

I've been there, I've done that, and I can tell you without question that this mechanism, this approach to surrendering yourself to love again, serves only one purpose—to make certain that you never find any type of happiness whatsoever.

The natural order of things suggests that anything worth having is worth working hard for, so it's not unusual to understand that one who possesses a beleagured heart might believe that any individual who wants a piece of their heart should be willing to walk through fire to get it.

However, the truth is, when love is real, when it's truly something of value, you don't have the desire to put it through those types of gyrations.  You will welcome it freely—despite the possibility of being hurt all over again—because it feels good.

We have all, to some degree, experienced the pain of a relationship gone wrong, but it's our ability to recover from that experience that sets the bar for our next venture into love. But, be cautious, don't expect the person, for whom you next fall, to have all the answers on how to fix you—they will try, but they cannot possibly do it alone. It's up to you to guide them.

You have to be willing to give enough of yourself to them that they will be able to find the pieces that are broken and, together, help you mend them and, in some cases, replace them altogether. That's a journey for you and them to take as a couple.

If you're not ready to do that, then you're not only doing a disservice to your heart, but to theirs as well.

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Namaste: Working To Be Better At Being Me

This won't be a long post, but it's one that I felt heavily prompted to write today.

I am a wife, mother, and seeker of all things real in this world. I know that sounds corny to some of you, but that's who I am—it's my truth—that's my version of who I am in a nutshell. However, with that realization, I am never far from the reality of how much growing I still have yet to do.

As a wife, I do my best to be a friend and confidante to the man in my life because I don't think any marriage (or partnership) is worth having if it is had minus communication, loyalty, and love. The three come as a package deal and work in conjunction—not independently of each other—and require daily practice by both parties in order to be effective.

As a mother, I've discovered that I am better at the practical things—organization, providing loving care and nourishment, and being the best role model I can be—but I understand my limits as well. I play with my children, but I don't consider myself a playful person. Their father makes for a much more fascinating playmate and that works fine for them—and for us.

And finally, as a seeker of all things real, I am drawn to things that are both of this world and not. I want to learn new things and expose myself to the world in a more spiritually connective way because I feel that far too many of us take the world in which we live, breathe, and love for granted.

So, through my weekly practice of reading spiritually awakening literature and diving faithfully into the practice of Yoga, I feel more whole with each new day that greets me—isn't that all any of us want to feel?

My life is by no means perfect, but I don't expect it to be. Perfection isn't attainable, but living a life filled with grace is, and that's all I ever hope to do.

Sunday Soundcheck: Welcome To The Real World She Said To Me...

John Mayer...how does one describe a guy who is quite possibly one of the biggest cads in the music scene today? His dishing of past loves in a Playboy article not long ago did not endear him to many—unless you're a cad yourself—yet his talent as a musician and song writer is still impossible to deny.

Sigh. I can't help myself when it comes to good ol' Johnny. He caught me at "No Such Thing", kissed my heart and "Daughters", and made me lose my mind over "I Don't Trust Myself". I, personally, to this day believe that his Continuum album is one of the most brilliant pieces of musicianship ever produced and I feel quite certain that he will never top it no matter how hard he tries—Ms. Anniston [Jennifer] brought out the best in that young man, I must say.

So, for this Sunday Soundcheck, it's all about John and the parts of him that make me smile: his guitar and his music.
Let me say it was hard just picking two cuts as "Why Georgia", "3x5", and "City Love" were all personal favorites from his "Room For Squares" album and as I said "Continuum" is one of those cd's where you just push play and walk away. If you haven't heard much of his stuff yet, maybe you should give it a spin.

The Personal Bloggers Dillemma: How Much Is Too Much?

I am not shy about two things: 1) how blessed I feel on a daily basis to live this life, and 2) how far I have to go before I feel I've done enough to thank God for just how much he's given me. I have my bad days, don't think I don't, but the better part of my existence is filled with the promise of experiences that I never thought I'd have, and love I never thought I'd find.

This life has surprised me with both ups and downs, but those rollercoasters taught me a lesson about strength and courage—courage in myself and strength in God.

This blog continues to evolve as I come to understand what I want to reveal about me. I have started and stopped a couple of others in the past for the very understandable reason that you never know how much of yourself you're willing to give up to strangers who, let's face it, may or may not appreciate or care what you have to say.

I've struggled with the knowledge that my life may not be nearly as interesting or entertaining to some as it is to others and I'm okay with that, to a point, because I know that I'm honest in all that I say—no matter what I'm saying.

The only hesitation I finding all of this lay in the fact that this [blog] is a permanent footprint of me. A permanent record that will likely continue to find a place in internet archives and caches in perpetuity. Which means that one day my own daughter ( aged 3) or son (aged 6) could stumble across these pages and find a piece of a mom that they currently have no relation to in their lives.

They will come to know the woman that I am today as adults themselves, and maybe they too will gain a different understanding of what it was like for me, in my thirties, to be a mother to them, a wife to their father, and a participant in this great big experience we call life.

Keeping that in mind, whenever I put fingers to keyboard I am often forced to ask one question: what kind of impression do I want to leave here?

It's never just an idle thought, a broken tirade, a lost diatribe, or a bad day when you're a "blogger". It's your personal introduction to a world full of strangers, over and over again and the impression you leave on those eyes will become the thing that determines how much more those eyes want to know about you and, therefore, how often they return.

Make sure the person you bring to the keyboard is one you can be proud of...one you wouldn't mind getting to know as well.

Phenomenal Woman...That's Me?

The only man who truly knows me and my heart is God and, although I give my all to being a wife and mother, I can accept that one truth about myself for what it is and not feel guilty about it.

Some might say that it's impossible to be truly whole or meaningful as a wife, mother, friend, etc., if you're only giving 76 percent of who you are to those around you—hell I might be inclined to agree with that statement—but here's what you have to think about.: If you're giving the best 76 percent you can give—flaws and all—isn't that better than allowing the 24 percent that's useless, negative, and unfocused into the picture?

See, the one thing I've noticed, at least about myself, is that I feel at my best when I am giving my best. The Negative Nancy within me doesn't serve as anything more than an unhealthy distraction to the woman I strive so hard to be each day. A woman who loves God, loves her family, and still dreams of a life filled with all the happiness that a woman like that deserves.

The life I have is filled to the brim with beauty, even in its imperfections, and I don't want to taint it with the pieces that don't fit my now. The pieces still left from a past that wasn't always painted with pretty colors and sunny days.

Yes, I have learned from every experience, yes those experiences are a part of me, and no I wouldn't trade one second of any of it for a life filled with more smiles and triumph, but life is just as much about progression as it is about learning lessons and, as we learn, we want to be able to move forward and evolve into the beautiful beings God created us to be; the kind of women and men who make the devil angry simply by opening our eyes in the morning.

So, it's not so much that I want to give less as it is I can see the value in giving more with less.

That 76 percent may not be the total package, but it's the very best of what God has blessed me with, for the moment, as He and I work together on that other 24.

Sunday Soundcheck: Some Say I’ll Be Better Without You...

The first time I ever heard Adele was in my car, while on my way to the grocery. The song I heard came through in an unexpected fashion as it was playing on my local R&B station—not that Adele doesn't have crossover appeal (the woman is brilliant in any genre), but most R&B stations usually press the pause button on such artists for fear of confusing their "listeners"—and I immediately turned up the radio and though I was at my stop already, I proceeded to listen until the end of the song.

Adele had drawn me in with her lyricism and harmony.

That very day, though I lived 30 minutes away from the nearest store, I made it a point to leave my house to go buy the "Adele 21" CD that same day. That's right, she was far too to pluck from iTunes. I wanted her CD to be in my collection—it may sound silly, but these days I only purchase CD's when I find an artist that I can't imagine not being able to grab the music of no matter where I am.

One of the first things I often read about Adele is that she is much like the the late Amy Winehouse, but I am put off by that comparison in a major way because, though both women sing with the same unmistakeable British accent, they are very different in both their delivery and choice of music. 

Whereas Winehouse could be placed in the category of jazz mixed with a strong R&B influence, Adele creeps a little into every genre. She can at once be R&B (as on the lovely, haunting "He Won't Go"—I'll admit I thought of Joss Stone when I heard it initially), but then suddenly flip into country, as with the beautiful ballad "Don't You Remember" (which kind of made me think of Bonnie Raitt).

Adele is suitable for all ears, all genres, and for all who just like listening to good music. She isn't isolated to just one sound and you have to respect her for doing her thing so very well.

While it's hard for me to find one song that I love, there are at least two that I felt I had to share if for no other reason than they were the first two to find themselves on perpetual repeat:

 

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Sometimes You Just Need A Minute

Productivity is overrated. I can tell you without any hesitation that I start each day with a mountain of things to do and I end each day with a mountain of things to do. Any person with a life filled with responsibilities and deadlines knows exactly where I'm coming from on this one.

It's like one minute you're this carefree college kid, spending money on your newly minted platinum credit card, without a care in the world. The next you're this 20 or 30-something year old adult with a mortgage, a spouse, and all the mail you could ever imagine—most of it from people and places you'd just as soon not know your address.

In the "real world" this is called growing up and facing the music. None of us is promised a life filled with unchecked fun and endless money—unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth (in which case I just might be inclined to hate you...just kidding)—and even then you might be forced to view the world differently just because with money there is always some measure of accountability that many of us would like to forget.

As I've grown accustomed to this new life of mine—a life that I must say again is blessed—I start to understand that the most important element that I need to remember to return to is balance. It's way to easy for me, personally, to forget to attend to my needs and do the things I need for myself to be that productive, focused, married, mother of two that I so enjoy being.

This life is filled with endless lists and eternal things for us to do but, every once in a while, you need to take a moment to breathe and reset.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

I was watching my daughter play in front of the mirror the other day. She was dancing, primping, and admiring her beautiful little self and her comfort level got me to thinking, 'when was the last time I felt that confident and secure standing in front of the mirror?'

I was immediately taken aback by how much my relationship with my personal reflection differed from that of my baby girl's. Her ease in viewing her reflection is in stark contrast to my own,  self-critical one, and I found that to be fascinating.

As a young girl growing up in Savannah, GA, I'll admit I wasn't the most fashion conscience. My clothing of choice then, much like now, is about comfort and convenience—with a touch of style thrown in here and there. That suits my life as a married, stay-at-home, mother of two.

My daily goals are simple: raise my babies and maintain my figure so that if I want to get sexy, I can do so without having to worry about what's lies beneath—you feel me?

That said, I still detest looking at myself because, unlike my sweetheart of a daughter, my reflection only offers me the opportunity to find all the things that I don't like, as opposed to the stuff I do. I continuously find reasons to not just say, 'you're perfect just the way you are, don't worry about it'.

But I will say this, when I see my gorgeous little girl standing in the mirror—loving herself just as she is—in that moment I find the inspiration to recognize the beauty within myself because I realize, at in that moment, that that beautiful little gift from God came from me. And knowing that means there is no way I could be anything but the same.

Then she stops playing in the mirror and I remember my hair is graying, my legs aren't long enough, and my skin will never be as smooth or even toned as I would like. 

Like I said, I'm working on it.

I guess I'll forever be a work in progress but, then again, aren't we all?

Sunday Soundcheck: The Problem Is All Inside Your Head

I started listening to Paul Simon in high school. My mother bought an album of his called "Rhythm of the Saints" and proceeded to play "The Obvious Child" ad nauseum for weeks—I must admit that intense drum opening in the beginning is what got me hooked on it as well. 

It was shortly after that introduction that she alerted me to how many other songs of Simon's I adored—"You Can Call Me Al" was already a favorite and "Sounds of Silence" had been another (although it was made when he was with Art Garfunkel)—which made me dive into his catalog to see what else I was missing!

That was 20+ years ago and I am still listening to Paul Simon today.

The thing I enjoy about Simon's music is the fact that is has so many layers, thanks in large part to his use of so many different instruments. The guy will use anything from a tambourine to a flute in getting his lyrical point across, and the simplicity of his voice is a great contrast to all the soundbox he sets loose in your head.

So, this week, I am offering up two Paul Simon songs that have always got me going. If you read the title, you can probably already guess one of them :) Enjoy!

"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" from Still Crazy After All These Years (1975)



"The Obvious Child" from The Rhythm of the Saints (1990)

REPOST: Take This Life and Live It

Sometimes it's hard to imagine a time when your life will no longer be relevant, however, two things that are quite certain about this life is that it has a beginning and an end.

The people we meet, the relationships we build with those people along the way, and the choices we make within the time we have here are what will help to shape our experience.

We will become a collection of the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life, and the only thing any of us can ever hope for is the opportunity to live the best life possible—to be happy.

Despite what anyone might tell you, there isn't a prescription for happiness. Each individual will approach his/her life differently and therefore will find happiness in a much different way they you or I. Where one person might choose to fill their life with friendships and personal connections, another might find the same fulfillment in discovering all they can about the world—cherishing the discovery process.

In truth, the "how" doesn't matter. What matters is that you take the journey.

Our time upon this earth is undetermined and no one can be certain when the time to leave this life will come.

Treat each day as a blessing, collect each moment as if it were a ray of sunshine, and use those rays to illuminate the spirit within you, and never let that spirit be dimmed by any one or anything.

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Living Fit Is A Step-By-Step Process

Ten years ago, I thought nothing of hitting up a fast food restaurant to fill the needs of my hungering body. In fact, the only thing I truly considered when selecting an eating establishment was whether or not they served good fries and burgers. The calories and fat content within the foods I was eating was irrelevant to me because I felt like exercising as I did at that time gave me the license to eat pretty much whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I lived that way until about 18-months ago when I saw "Food Inc." Yes, that's correct, the catalyst for my change was gleaned from a controversial documentary on the American food industry.

Now, before you start believing that I live my life under the influence of external factors, understand that I always do my own research (as should any intelligent individual, "Food Inc." didn't offer the final word on my decision to change my lifestyle dramatically, it merely offered a jumping off point.

My personal attention to the information that fell into my hands daily (i.e. nutritional labels, news reports, and focused literature addressing concerns on obesity—particularly amongst children) helped seal the deal. Once I truly started paying attention to the information on what I was eating, and what I was giving to my family, it became difficult to look away from the facts.

I knew I needed to start being more aware of food choices not only for myself, but for my children as well. That said, however, where my children would be easier to mold in the way of this life I have chosen (I am mostly vegetarian by this point), my husband is still not willing to give up his meat eating ways, and I am okay with that decision.

Quite honestly, philosophically, I am not opposed to eating meat. I just find that my body operates in a more efficient way with less meat in my diet. By no means do I enforce that rule upon either my husband or my children. What I do is offer them options that are still healthy, but that do not interfere with their desire to still eat the foods they love.

Despite what some who are strictly vegan/vegetarian will tell you, there are plenty of ways to live healthily while still eating meat. 

For my part, I have lessened the occurrence of meals served using red meat or pork as I have found that ground turkey is a fine substitute for many dishes. As far as red meat goes, if I do use it, I stick to the leanest cuts I can find.

Other changes I've found easy to make are swapping almond milk for cows milk, vegan butter for regular butter, and whole grain flour for white. As a rule, no pastas or breads are purchased if they are not of the whole grain variety, and sodas are a no-no for either one of my children.

The changes I've made have been incremental, but they stick because they aren't too intrusive. I've found that as long as the food tastes good, few complain.

My point here is that any decision to live healthily is as much about being aware of what your body  takes in for fuel as you are about keeping that body fit. You would never put diesel fuel into a gas operated vehicle, right? Of course not. Our bodies, in my opinion, use that same principle.

Use the fuel that maximizes what you want your body to do—whether you love weight training, running or aerobics—because, at the end of the day, you only get out what you put in.

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Blogging Mantra: I Write, Therefore I Am

"100s of Bloggers would spend 1000 of hours to be famous and millionaire, but not even one hour which would make their blog a million dollar worth."-Divya Uttam

Maintaining a blog isn't easy, don't ever let anyone tell you differently. It's a difficult task to generate fresh ideas, about engaging topics, on a daily basis.

However, in the three years I've been consistently maintaining a blog, I've managed to learn one very important lesson about what it takes to not give up on the venture altogether, want to know what that something is? Okay...here goes...read carefully...it's...called...patience.

The reason many of us in the blogosphere often abandon our sites and stop blogging altogether is because we often come into the process for the wrong reasons. We approach it with dollar signs and dreams of retiring to Bora Bora from all the ad revenue we are sure to make from writing grandiose articles about topics no other blogger has ever broached with the same amount of class or ingenuity.

Listen, there are thousands of bloggers out there with a lot more time, resources, and money than many of us low bandwidth folks will ever be able to dole out on our freely hosted sites. So, when making the decision to start/maintain a blog, I only offer two pieces of true advice: be patient with the process and go easy on yourself.

If you go a few days without writing a post, don't beat yourself up too bad, because while posting often is ideal, most of us have lives.

It's unfair to think that your obligation to your readers is more important than that of a loved one who is depending on you daily. Even more, a blog isn't supposed to feel like work unless you're getting paid a salary to do it, so it's better to wait for inspiration than publish insignificant fluff.

Be the genuine you that you want the world to know, and approach each post from a point of sincerity.  Yes, it's that easy.

Most importantly, though, never forget to lend a helping hand to fellow bloggers whose sites you've come to appreciate by dropping them a mention or two every once and a while. For instance, I try to sneak in my beautiful friend Ally's blog, Copacetic in Carolina, whenever I can because I think she's doing a brilliant job plus, she's always kind enough to check in on my sites regularly, and leave a kind and thoughtful word on many of the posts I write. In short, she's pretty amazing, and if you're not checking her out, you're missing out. Trust me.

Or, how about you take a peek at what my little brother Adam is doing at Comedic Revival. He's new to this whole blogging thing, but he's doing a fine job so far.

And if I'm ever trying to find ideas on how to eat cheap, healthy and good, I know exactly where to go for all that and then some, but if that's not enough,  The Daily Garnish is a must-click for all of my vegetarian-minded readers.

See how easy those shout-outs were? We bloggers have to stick together you know. 

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