What's Your Dream?

Your dreams are your dreams. No one should judge them and tell you that they're too big, too small, too outrageous, or too silly. Your dreams are your dreams and you should do whatever you can to make them happen.

See, the problem with us—I include myself in that equation—is we spend far too much time trying to figure out if our dreams are worth having or even possible. In fact, we spend so much time doing it that we, eventually, feel it's better to let them go rather than pursue them and that's when the excuses set in.

You know the excuses, right? Here's a couple of good ones for you: "they were never going to happen anyway" and "I don't have time to do the things I want anymore because of x, y, or z". Life gets in the way of what we want and time shortens the possibilities for ever seeing them come to fruition.

Well, here's the question: who's in charge of your life and your time?

That's a question you need to answer and, once you do—if you do—then you should come back and revisit why it is your dreams aren't able to find a place in your life.

We all have responsibilities, and we all have things that will, temporarily, knock us off our path, but those things should not become the things that keep us from remembering that we have dreams and that those dreams are worth keeping alive—if for no other reason than to keep us living, loving, and moving forward.

Day 28: You're Not A Mind-Reader...

Each of us are individuals. We all have different wants, needs, desires, and dreams and none of us are so attached at the hip that we can say, with confidence, that we want entirely the same things as the person we've chosen to spend our life eating dinner with—it's simply not possible.

See, what happens when you fall in love with someone is you begin to compromise on the above-mentioned wants, needs, desires, and dreams. You start re-evaluating just how relevant those things are to the life you've chosen, and you omit the things that have no place or purpose in your new life.

It's an action most of us take, willingly, and one that many of us never think twice about until something within said relationship either goes wrong or becomes a source of on-going conflict. It's only then that we start to wonder about what we "gave up" to be with this person. It's then that we start to question our compromises and wonder if we've made a mistake.

I'm here to tell you, that's a natural response. Your mind is always given to question, and your heart is always given to doubt—put the two together and the result is, almost always, confusion and speculation.

That said, your job, as a reasonable person with a better than average knowledge of yourself and your relationship, is to be able to separate the bumps from the sinkholes.

Every relationship has bumps. The trick is to remember that having conflict is necessary if you wish to grow as a couple. You have to begin to understand the kinds of things your mate likes and dislikes, where their boundaries exist, and what insecurities still lie within them now that they've decided to give themselves to you.

The bumps become ongoing learning opportunities that, one day, lead you both into a healthy level of communication and comfort. It's only then that you can find the balance that you always hoped to achieve and finally understand how you both fit together.

That said, no one should expect you to be a mind-reader. You are not responsible for deciphering codes and translating emotions into what your mate feels is a desired action. That duty falls on the individual who feels that their needs aren't being met—not you.

Your role is to be present and willing to build a positive foundation for the direction you want your relationship to go and that requires a team effort.