Back then, like many girls my age, I was envious of the popularity, good looks, and overall charmed existence of the "popular" girls. Why couldn't I be more like them? Where was my superstar boyfriend (AKA sports hero)? My invitation to all the hot parties? Why wasn't I living the "good life"?
Well, it didn't take me too long to figure out that I was asking and hoping for all the wrong things and,
as a result, it became necessary for me to start sorting out the woman I wanted to be—in this body I felt endlessly uncomfortable living in—with this soul that was sorely lacking in both direction and nourishment.
Now, a number of years later, I reflect upon that time as a moment in my life where I was too centered on the superficial aspects of living to appreciate all the good things I was blessed to have. I was too busy being shallow to understand what characteristics truly mattered in a person—their faith in Christ, their poise, their integrity, and their virtue.
It's a lesson I had to learn in order to "grow up" and become the woman I am today: one who has
so much more to give to those around her because she can see both sides of the battle. I understand what it feels like both to be accepted and to wonder what acceptance feels like. And, though I'm still evolving on a daily basis, I feel more comfortable living and loving in the beautiful body the good Lord blessed me to have than I did 20 years ago.
Don't get me wrong, that 15-year old, lost, girl with low self-esteem is still a very real part of my story—she still makes an appearance here and there in those moments I find reason to doubt myself—she's just no longer the title character in the movie.
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