Sex Is Not A Dirty Word

People often think that married couples, particularly those with children, have lives that are akin to those couples you see in movies like "Date Night". Everything is planned, down to the when and where, and there is no spontanaeity whatsoever. Well, that might be how it is for some, but I'm here to attest that not every couple operates in that way.

Children complicate the schedule in only one way: they make your opportunities for alone time more difficult to find. That said, there is still alone time to be had and you can do some divine things in those moments if you're focused and determined.

The most important thing to remember is that this man/woman is the same hot, sexy, individual you married—assuming you married for the right reason—and unless something has changed in you that makes your relationship more difficult to appreciate, you should still find yourself willing to do whatever you can to maximize the time you have together.

I took a quiz on WebMD's site the other day and was, I have to admit, a bit shocked to find that most married couples have sex on average about 66 times—a year. Do the math, that's about five times a month or roughly once or twice a week. That's surprising when you consider how sexually driven our society has become and even more telling is how that stat reveals the overall lack of intimacy in relationships these days.

Now, keeping this stat in mind, I'll be honest and say that my addiction to being fit has as much to do with my husband giving me a long glance as I stroll past him in a pair of tight fitting jeans as it does my need to feel and be healthy. I mean, seriously, what woman doesn't like to look as phenomenal as she can no matter what she's wearing? Those Pilates and Zumba classes aren't full for nothing!

But, I digress.

The point I'm trying to make is relationships/marriage is hard as hell. On the best day, you're only working half as hard to keep the fire alive. That said, the intimacy (and intimacy does not always mean sex) is a huge part of what makes things work. You have to establish and keep that connection with the one you love .

Watch a movie, exercise together, go out, or just lay down on the sofa and talk to each other at the end of the day. You'd be surprised at the difference these things make.

My husband spends a lot of time on the road for work, but we make the brief conversations we have as meaningful as we can and a beautiful text message goes a long way, too. You have to make the effort to pause and just say "I love you" or "How was your day, love?" None of these things should be hard to do if your relationship was built and remains standing on a firm foundation.

Bottom line is, if you love the one you're with, you make it work. Forget the obstacles and the sure disagreements you are certain to have at various points in your relationship, at the end of the day—it may sound corny but—it's all about our love for each other. We start from that point and navigating the rest gets a bit easier.

Putting Some "Fall Goals" Into the Blogosphere

The beautiful Ms. Ally over at one of my favorite blogs, Copacetic in Carolina, did me the honor (if you can call it that—LOL) of sharing my Fall goals. Call it a "to-do" list that everyone can now see and know about; as if I needed any further motivation to get my backside in gear and do something!

Anyway, you're only supposed to do five, but I'll be damned if my list isn't a hot mess of too much to do and too little time. In any, event, only five will make it to this blog—I'll save the real list for my desk drawer.

1. Organize My Poetry Into A Book-I've been writing poetry for a very long time. Some of it is elementary in nature—particularly items written during my elementary school years—but I think to pull all of my poetry together, and organize it in a chronological nature, would be interesting.

2. Get My Six Pack-It's vain, I know, but to say this is just a way to say I need to start doing a better job of focusing my workouts on the areas I like to emphasize during beach season. I typically cross-train and do yoga, but I mix in a good deal of weight-training as well. As of now, I lift 3-4 days a week, do Yoga twice a week, and cross-train 4-5 days a week. I'm proud of my progress so far, but I'm never done improving this old body of mine.

3. Volunteer More-Now that both of my babies are in school, I have a little more time to devote to other things and I would like to extend a larger hand into my local community by getting involved more. I just know I get a greater sense of fulfillment from actually lending my time as opposed to just writing a check.

4. Spend More Alone Time With Hubby-I always try to give as much as I can to my marriage, but I'll admit that it takes a great deal of effort on both our parts to keep that fire burning as hotly as possible. So, I'd like to get more time in with my man because I know that not only makes us better people but infinitely more effective as parents.

5. Read More-I'm not an avid reader, but I do enjoy reading a good book. So, this past summer I set out on a mission to read as many books as possible, but found it difficult to fit in a chapter of anything between being a mommy, wife, daughter, and then devoting x amount of time to blogging and y amount of time to exercising and scripture study. There was simply always something to do. To combat that, I've tried to be more realistic with my goals where reading is concerned and plan to simply focus on reading when I can. I have read about nine books since the end of July—including "The Paris Wife", "The Help", and "The Postmistress"—and I'm about mid way through "Anna Karenina". By the start of the New Year I hope to have a few more books under my belt (I'm shooting for three more novels by Christmas, which would be quite the accomplishment for me).

Poetry Break: Releasing The Anger to Embrace The Words

I don't consider myself a "poet", but I've always found a certain release through any and everything I write because the written word is such a powerful form of communication for me. I spent a great deal of my adolescent life being held back by insecurities and self-doubt—most of which stemmed from an inability to see the beauty within my own soul. So, as a  way of escape, I started to journal, writing short stories, and poetry—lots and lots of poetry. To this day, the latter is a habit that I continue to keep.

Below, you'll find just one of hundreds of such verses that I've written over the years. It's inspiration came from a relationship I hold with a very dear friend of mine. Consider it another small piece of me being shared as this blog has become more an exercise in declaring my own thoughts than imparting any true knowledge to those who faithfully do read.

Words for my Sister

A setting sun seems less than stellar, minus the beautiful backdrop of a brilliantly blue sky,

An endless road that's traveled is worthless without a destination, or reason, for which to drive,

A broken promise left unmended will only fester unless love intervenes,

And a forgiving heart can bring together enemies where unkind words blank spaces
leave.

It's not that life is without it's challenges,
Everyday brings something new.
It's what you do in the moments of silence, and contemplation, that most define me and you.

The soul is blessed to live minus the drama, the bullshit and the rage,

Living to love and fight again in spite of the negative forces by which it's plagued.

It is in the time that exists between it all that I recall the precious people that have lined my life,

And it is in that time that I am thankful to have the sisterhood that is you and I.

VIDEO: Talk About Dedication, This Young Man Has it in Spades!

I won't go so far as to say I'm an "environmentalist", but  I can appreciate any individual who is trying to cultivate their own awareness of the world around them, as well as the part they play in it; which brings me to the inspiration behind today's post.

As I perused my Facebook news feed this morning, I came across the link for the video you will see below and I was BLOWN away!

Now, I don't know much about the "tiny house" movement, and I'm not about to trade my digs for a home that's likely smaller than my closet (haha), but I do admire this young mans (he's only 16) ingenuity and dedication to doing something for himself that will likely be of long-lasting benefit to both his wallet and his character.

You have to see this, if you haven't already, and I dare you to not come away with a positive impression.