Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Woman Calls Cops to Get Rid of Boyfriend and She Gets Arrested Instead

File this story under the heading, "You Can't Make This Crap Up", and take a gander at what happened after a Florida woman decided to call the cops to get rid of her boyfriend.

...Mayo called deputies to remove her boyfriend, Robert Worden, according to the Sheriff's Office. He had just gotten out of the county jail after serving 40 days for obtaining property with a worthless check. Mayo said she was scared of him. Worden, 34, said he just wanted to see his 7-year-old daughter.

The boyfriend agreed to leave the Palm Harbor apartment. But as Worden walked out with the deputies, he pointed to a damaged black 1997 Ford Ranger in the apartment complex parking lot and said he had a story to tell them.

Worden told deputies that Mayo borrowed a neighbor's pickup on Feb. 4 to drive to Pinellas Park to buy marijuana, authorities said. That night, Worden told deputies, he said Mayo texted him that she had struck a deer.

Then, weeks later, Worden told deputies that Mayo broke down and told him that she had actually hit someone on 66th Street N. Mayo knew the person was dead, according to Worden, but was too scared of going to jail to stop.
First of all, the story begins and ends for me when I discovered the woman killed a pedestrian while on a "weed run". Seriously? You're a grown woman, with a child, what the hell are you doing still making "weed runs"? You couldn't have believed that would end well.

Good grief.

And, here, the cruelest of ironies is stated in the fact that Mayo might have been able to avoid severe punishment had she simpley done the right thing and identified herself as the perpetrator because,  unfortunately for the victim, it was discovered that she "...violated the driver's right of way that night" and was responsible for the accident.

Unbelievable.

You know who the person I feel the sorriest for in this story happens to be, that woman's 7-year old daughter. I never understand the thinking of those who bring children into this world, but then skirt responsibility for bringing said child up in as stable and loving an environment as possible. There are so many ways to avoid an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy. I know married people who do this all the time—I was married four-years before we had our first child—so unless a woman is violated, you cannot sell me on there not being a way to hold off on having a child.

What a waste.

This world would be more amusing if so much of what I see happening in it was not true. If it's not some attention-seeking socialite gunning for her 15-minutes of fame—marrying and divorcing in under 90-days—then it's the media pointing fingers at The Duggar Family for having too many children (children they take care of without any assistance from the state or anyone else), but giving a woman like Kate Gosselin all the attention and coverage her bad hair and poor priorities can stand.

*Sigh*


Excuse the tone today, dear readers, but my ire is a little up. More positive vibrations tomorrow...or Friday—I promise.


Monday, November 28, 2011

County Agency Removes Obese Boy, Watch Out For That Slippery Slope

A report published in the Cleveland Plains-Dealer this morning discusses the recent removal of an 8-year old boy from his family home due to his being grossly overweight (he weighs 200 lbs).

The obvious reaction to a county run agency stepping in on such an issue is, I believe, summed up beautifully in this one quote from said article.

"...one could get ethical whiplash in a world where one arm of government is so concerned about a child's weight that it removes him from his home, while another branch of government argues that french fries and tomato paste on pizza should be counted as servings of vegetables."

Where on earth does the responsibility begin and end on both fronts?

I'll say right off the bat that I heavily empathize with the mother here because, although she has made strides to curb the unhealthy eating habits of her young son, she has often battled with environmental factors that often undercut her efforts when she's not around to monitor him.

Furthermore, as a single-mother, living on a substitute teaching income, she does not have the money to enroll her son at the local YMCA or hire the services of a dietician to help her navigate the often confusing world of food.

As one who often takes great pains to read labels and obey serving sizes, I know precisely how challenging it can be to discern the good foods from the not-so-good ones, and I can say that's this is not a skill that can be developed overnight.

Keeping all of this in mind, how can any agency justify removing this child from his home based solely on his physical condition?

I worked in child protective services for a short time and I can tell you, without hesitation, that I've seen more children left in homes where physical and verbal abuse are present than I would have liked and those same children exhibited signs of abuse at the time of the investigation–yet they remained with the parents because removal was a last resort.

So, what's the message we're sending in this instance, you can abuse your child, but if you feed them too much, we're gonna take them away?

Sounds silly, if you ask me.

How about you try to help fix what's broken before you destroy families who don't have the resources to make immediate changes to a learned—and heretofore unchecked—lifestyle.

I'm not making excuses for this mother–I applaud this agency for being proactive and taking the steps necessary to address this matter– However, instead of removing a well-adjusted child into a foster homes (prior to the removal, this boy was on the honor roll) how about you offer alternatives to the parent?

The article states that the agency has looked into moving the child to a home where a personal trainer exists. How about gifting the mother a gym membership and arranging bi-monthly visits with a registered dietician who can assist them in reaching their goals?

Why stress county/state funds by doling out money to a foster parent—who can request reimbursements for travel to and from medical appointments and also receives a monthly payment for keeping said child in their home—enrolling yet another individual into the medicaid program (because you can bet that money for this boy's healthcare will need to come from somewhere),or setting up yet another situation where food stamps will be needed just because you're not thinking outside the box?

Obesity isn't a community problem, it's a social one,and a fix for it is needed at every level—starting with the federal government.

I'm all for offering help to those who are actively trying to make a change in the way their families think about food, but that change will take time—particularly if that particular family is struggling to make ends meet and the cheapest food available is often not the healthiest—but don't confuse intervention with education.

Think first, then act.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Never Doubt the Importance of Being Financially Fit

I'm not debt-free. There, I said it.

Sometimes I feel like a working poor person...wait, scratch that, a highly-educated, working, poor person.

Okay, maybe technically, I don't actually have a job in the 9-to-5-FICA-takes-half-my-salary- vacations-come-only-when- earned sense of the word but, make no mistake, I do have a job.

My husband does the working and it's my job to take care of this home we made together with our two beautiful children. That job is one without end and one I wouldn't dare trade for a job in the more traditional sense of the word.

That said, my delicious darling of a husband spends his days working hard to satisfy our desire to be both the family that lives within their means and the one that doesn't sacrificing the pure joy that comes from living in a world where so many options for adventure exist.

So, as of now, we splurge on one big vacation a year. Last year it was Atlanta for big fun in the city (aquariums, museums, malls, and such) and this year it's a week in Washington for the Cherry Blossom Festival–and a chance to expose our little ones to the beauty and history of our nation's Capitol–and next year it'll likely be California or Chicago.

Also, birthdays and holidays are always treated like major events in our home and we make an effort to always include something educational into everything we do because we want our children to be as knowledgeable as possible about the world they will someday contribute to shaping.

Most trips and special events are planned months in advance and then budgeted to the nth degree so that nothing is left to chance or credit card, but, I'd be lying if I said I'd forsaken the use of such vices here and there to fill in the gaps. A habit I developed in undergrad that spilled over into my graduate work.

I worked my way through grad school and tried to do as much as I could not to accumulate too much debt through taking put unnecessary loans, but that became difficult when credit came easier than cash. So, I didn't pass up many opportunities to use that plastic lifeboat when I felt I needed to for whatever reason.

Trust me, I expect no sympathy for the choices I willfully made with money. I made them, they are mine to bear. However, as a mother and wife who has often struggled to maintain the freedoms that having money can grant you, I know I want more.

More for our retirement, more for our children's educations, more mini-vacations during the year, and more peace of mind when times are hard.

I won't be reinventing the wheel with anything we do, but by doing simple things like buying items on a cash-only basis, applying any surplus money earned towards reducing debt, and concentrating only on debt elimination–as opposed to debt addition–I expect to decrease our debt limit by 75% within 2-years and be nearly out of debt within four.

Trust me when I say it will
Take a great deal of budgeting and monetary discipline, but the reward is greater later for any sacrifices we make now.

Never doubt that being financially fit is every bit as important as being physically fit. It's something we should all strive for in our lives and we should be willing to do what's necessary to get our wallets and checkbooks in shape.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Three P's of a (Hopefully) Happy Thanksgiving

I can still remember the first Thanksgiving dinner I ever prepared. I was a newlywed and the hubby and I were not only enjoying our first year as a married couple, but our first year as homeowners. That said, I was determined to cook a proper meal for my southern honey and nothing was going to stop me from making it memorable!

I swear, I spent the three-days leading up to Thanksgiving talking to my mother about how to cook all the things I'd come to associate with that meal. So much time,in fact, she suggested we drive down to Savannah and eat at her house–like always.

But, I eventually got everything together and pulled off a great meal for just the two of us–I recall it fondly now as what was once a meal built for two is now one made for 20!

As the number of persons seated at my table has grown over the years, I've come to utilizing a system that works for me. I call it my Three "P's": Planning, Preparation, and Prayer!

It's nothing fancy, mind you, but it has kept me from losing my cool/focus when this time of year rolls 'round.

So, let's jump right in, shall we?

Planning:

This part starts long before the month of November comes calling.

As much as we all love variety on our tables, you have to admit, there are a number of dishes that we likely share in common and, as such, if we wait too late to buy said items for those dishes, we'll find ourselves fighting with a lot of other people for their services.

Items like vanilla extract (which I've recently decided to start making myself), and elbow macaroni, often leave the shelves fast. And by the Tuesday before, they can be darn near impossible to locate–particularly if you live in a small town or city.

So, my rule is to stockpile early–before Halloween even–and fill my pantry with all the things I'm sure to need on that day. By doing so, I can also take advantage of any great sales that crop up on items that are surely to be more sought after come November 22.

For instance, I bought and froze my turkey weeks ago for $.59/lb and saved a pretty penny. This week that same turkey is $1.99/lb.

Proper planning not only saves me time and money, it keeps me out of the supermarket madness that typically ensues on the Tuesday and Wednesday prior.

Preparation:

Call me crazy, call me anal retentive, or call me silly, but I start cooking on Tuesday...yes, Tuesday!

If I see where I can get certain items done early–say the bread for my dressing or the potato peeling for my potato salad–then I do it.

I do a good deal of my chopping and vegetable prepping on that day as well, you'd be amazed how much time you save by having the simplest of steps already completed ahead of time.

Wednesday is for baking in my house. I get all of my cakes, pies, and other desserts done on this day and start my turkey marinating process that morning as well.

By  early Thursday morning, the turkey is taking center stage in the oven and is often the last thing that needs to be done before I retire to get dressed and prepped for the arrival of guests.

Now, some people won't agree to this method of doing things. Many families make food prep a joint affair and wouldn't relinquish the camaraderie and chaos they share with their loved ones for anything. But, this works for us.

Prayer:

If you think you still won't have snafus and hiccups–even after following through on your planning and prep–you're crazy (haha). There always seems to be something, or someone, to throw things off.

For example, my meal for 20 started off as a meal for five and it was only yesterday that I discovered there would be 15 more at the dinner table!

You just never know, but you go with it and trust that God will be there to keep you centered and focused on the most important part of this blessed day in the first place–spending time with your loved ones.

Just two days lay between us and a lot of delicious goodies.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Sure-Fire Way To Get Rid of Kim Kardashian Is...

Someone has decided to take the time and energy to post a petition to "boycott the Kardashians". To that end I only have two responses—"good luck" and "change the channel".

I have long been one who doesn't keep up with the Kardashian's, and if Kim Kardashian weren't a) always linked up with some pro athlete, b) on the cover of another gossip magazine, or c) in my Twitter feed, I would have no idea who she is nor why her presence on television, or anywhere else, is worth my giving a rat's backside.

I've never watched one episode of the show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" so I have no idea who any of Kim Kardashian's sisters are, if they are "famous" in their own right, and I can say without hesitation that this will be the case indefinitely.

That said, I realize there are plenty of people that not only enjoy watching and chronicling every move the Kardashian family makes but who genuinely like them and what they bring to pop culture— entertainment wise. As a matter of fact, the popularity of the Kardshians is such that they have made millionsof dollars just for being who they are and nothing more.

And, to be quite frank, no petition is likely to change that anytime soon.

The best way to show the Kardashians just how little you intend to keep up with their idiocy is to change the channel. E! won't bother airing a show that isn't faring well with their viewers—no petition needed—just stop watching. Otherwise you stand to look like a loon who's looking for 15-minutes of her own.

Man, the "causes" people choose to place their efforts into amuse me—scratching my head.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Congress Says "Screw Your Child's Health" Where School Lunch is Concerned

I have the option of preparing and sending my children to school with lunches I've carefully prepared. I know what's in the bag and what's going into their bodies. That gives me peace of mind on a daily basis.

That said, what about the parents who don't have the resources or the time to do the same? The parent(s) who actually relies on the school lunch program in their district to provide their children with meals, fuel for their developing minds, are most of them going to have the same peace?

Take a look at this excerpt from an article published this morning in the Decatur Daily:
...The final version of a spending bill released late Monday would unravel school lunch standards the Agriculture Department proposed earlier this year. These include limiting the use of potatoes on the lunch line, putting new restrictions on sodium and boosting the use of whole grains. The legislation would block or delay all of those efforts.
The bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. USDA had wanted to only count a half-cup of tomato paste or more as a vegetable, and a serving of pizza has less than that.
...food companies that produce frozen pizzas for schools, the salt industry and potato growers requested the changes and lobbied Congress.

School meals that are subsidized by the federal government must include a certain amount of vegetables, and USDA’s proposal could have pushed pizza-makers and potato growers out of the school lunch business.

Piling on to the companies’ opposition, some conservatives argue the federal government shouldn’t tell children what to eat.

I've said it time and again, I don't advocate the government telling us what to eat—Uncle Sam has no place in my kitchen—but when you're funding an agency whose purpose is to be mindful of what is served to our nation's children, children who are growing up at a time when childhood obesity rates are staggering, shouldn't you do what you can to not add to the problem?

It seems to me that cutting back sodium content, limiting carbohydrates, and making the attempt to offer a healthier option would be a no-brainer in this case, but maybe I'm being too parental.

I don't think that congress can be about the dollars and cents where certain matters are concerned. The cost to treat juvenile diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, etc. is far greater than the cost of removing potatoes and frozen pizza from the lunch line.

At some point, you have to stop trying to appease the corporate juggernauts and just do the right thing.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Grace in Mourning

Angel of GriefI recently suffered a loss that, no matter how hard I tried, I could have never prepared myself to accept. Even as I write this, I am struggling to figure out how to ease the heartache that this loss has left me feeling.

The toll this has taken on my family has been one of the brutal sort—it's not always easy to be kind when the persons involved are going through the same heartbache as you. Suddenly the person you all loved becomes the person only you loved the best. And, in your desire to do what you feel he/she would have wanted, you forget to be mindful of whose feelings you're stepping on in the process.

I've been through enough to know that everyone deals with their grief differently. Some withdraw into work or a daily routine, others resort to drugs/alcohol, and some simply learn to live with said pain and use it as the motivation to be better in that person's honor.

The point is we all arrive at our places of peace differently and however one comes to that place is their business. You can't rush anyone through the process or force them to adhere to your idea of what's most effective, they have to do it on their own terms and in their own time—if they are ever to do it at all.

One thing I've learned from my most recent experience is just how fragile the family unit can become if there is no foundation there from the start. Grief and sadness are capable of bringing out the best and worst in people, and the scars that words and actions, born from pain, can leave behind can be irreparable if one is not careful.

We must try to never forget to be cognizant of those going through the storm with us–even if the path they're taking is more or less rain-soaked than ours. Because, in the end, it's about love and respect. Respect for yourself, your departed loved one, and all those he or she has left behind to mourn them.

Should Tax Money Go To The 'Shop Around The Corner'?

Thanks to a federal grant, a local store in San Antonio was able to install a new refrigeration unit that will allow them to sell fresh fruits and vegetables to their local patrons. The addition of such items, it is hoped, will help consumers in that neighborhood make better choices about what they choose to put into their bodies.




The effort—as part of the "Communities Putting Prevention to Work" federal grant—hopes to be the first of many opportunities for the federal government to increase health and food awareness in local communities where food and health education is not as prevalent.

While I don't take issue with the government stepping in to introduce healthier food alternatives, I do feel that it makes more sense to spend the money necessary to regulate what comes into the country, as well as what is served to our children school via the Food and Drug Administration—FDA. However, I guess it's easier to service a community than a country where this particular matter is concerned.

Don't get me wrong, I do applaud the idea of convenience stores offering fresh fruits and veggies to its patrons but, in the end, it's still going to be up to the consumer/parent to make that choice and a federal effort to offer it won't necessarily guarantee a positive result.




Monday, November 14, 2011

The Christmas Spirit Escapes Me

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.A few weeks ago, as we returned from my son's soccer practice, I noticed someone already had their Christmas tree up, lit, and on display in their window—yet, at the time, it was still a week or more before Halloween!

Now I can understand being anxious for all the goodness Christmas brings, trust me. As a child I always looked forward to Christmas in a major way, too.

The sounds, smells, and look of the season gave me so much to smile about that I could hardly contain myself long enough to put up my own tree and decorations. But, lately it feels like we're being bombarded with the sales pitch for Santa earlier and earlier and that concerns me.

(BEFORE Halloween?...Seriously?)

You see, I'm one of those people who remembers the "reason for the season", and while the commercialization of Christmas hasn't lessened that knowledge, I worry that the day will soon come where Christmas is lumped in with a "holiday" like, say, Valentines Day—which is to say, it'll be just another day upon which money can be made.

Does that sound ridiculous? Well, brace yourself for the way I considered staging my own personal protest.

While I could never get away with foregoing presents—Santa and I are on speed dial at this point—I did consider ditching the tree and everything else this year as a way of reminding my children that as much as Christmas brings joy and good tidings for them, it's about the birth of Jesus Christ first and foremost, and He didn't require an inflatable reindeer to announce His arrival.

I know, I know, it's extreme, but I've finally become bothered by those who seek to make Christmas about the dollars and sense and, by doing so, letting the true reason go unnoticed.

In the end I will likely do as I have always done—put the tree and every other decoration up on Thanksgiving night—but this year I feel an even bigger need to refocus the attention (at least to those in our home) on why we celebrate this wondrous day in the first place. 


Saturday, November 12, 2011

What To Do When You're In Fast Food Hell

McDonalds_Mannheim_01It's tough to be healthy all the time—let me tell you. I've recently returned from an out-of-town trip where food options were relatively slim and it occurred to me yet again just how much the food service industry caters to the avid meat-eating crowd.

The town I spent the last several days visiting was blessed with six restaurants—McDonalds (of course), Bojangles, KFC, Subway, Zaxby's and Wendy's—and while all offered a "healthy" alternative to eating a cheeseburger or fried chicken, none offered what I would call a sustainable option for a person whose diet is 85-90 percent devoid of meat or meat-products.

Now, I'll be honest and say that by this point in time I have grown accustomed to such dilemmas in traveling to smaller cities and towns—vegetarians and vegans are still in the minority for the most part where major food chains are concerned—and I usually combat such issues by packing my own snacks and meal options (I typically also opt for hotel chains that offer fully stocked kitchens where I have the option of preparing my own meals if necessary). However, this wasn't a planned trip and, as such, I was left totally unprepared.

As a result, my days were spent eating veggie subs from Subway and tossed salads from wherever the smell of hot grease didn't overwhelm my delicate nose sense.

So what can you do when you find yourself in fast food hell? My best advice is to stick to the side of the board that seems most friendly to your heart and hips. Here's a hint: if you have to think too hard about it, then it's probably a 'no'.

Second, if you find that you don't have many options—and you're not averse to eating meat—try eating burgers minus the cheese and mayo, stick to chicken that's grilled, and the less fare you order on your salad the better (i.e., skip the cheese, ham, croutons, sunflower seeds, and dressing).

And it goes without saying that anything fried is a no-no.

Start there and then just use your good sense the rest of the way and you'll be fine.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

World Vegan Day: Reflecting on My Changing Lifestyle

In case you didn't know, today is "World Vegan Day" and many people are choosing today's platform to bring awareness to the harms of eating a diet containing meat.

That said, I am not a vegan or a vegetarian—I still indulge in meat two-to-three times a month— However, I am much more informed these about where my food comes from and I've tried to take the necessary steps to ensure that whatever goods I buy are sourced locally.

As a result of my concentrated efforts to change the way I view food, my approach to consumerism is drastically different today than it was a year ago and, to me, it is that change in thinking that embodies the spirit of "World Vegan Day"—opening your mind to options and exploring change on a deeper level.

The intimidating part about veganism (or even vegetarianism for that matter)—at least for me at first—is that many feel they have to jump right in and cut out all meat cold turkey (no pun intended), but that's simply not the case.

In my situation, I still cook healthy, flavorful, meals for my family, filled with different cuts of chicken, pork, and beef (although red meat is used to a dramatically lesser extent), but I also take the steps to be sure that those meats were processed in a humane way and, in many cases, don't mind spending a premium to get cuts that were sourced within a 50-mile radius of where we live. I just feel like that's something I want to do for my family and my children.

And while my diet is slightly different from what my family eats—I tend to use soy, seitan, and tempeh as my meat substitutes—we all have grown accustom to eating healthier portions of fruits, vegetables, and salads on a daily basis in lieu of some of the heavier southern fare that my husband was raised up on. And the difference that has made in his life and theirs has been invaluable to me as a mother and wife.